Yom Kippur is probably the most important holiday of the Jewish year. Many Jews who do not observe any other Jewish custom will refrain from work, fast and/or attend synagogue services on this day. Yom Kippur occurs on the 10th day of Tishri. The holiday is instituted at Leviticus 23:26 et seq.

The name "Yom Kippur" means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what the holiday is. It is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year. In Days of Awe, I mentioned the "books" in which G-d inscribes all of our names. On Yom Kippur, the judgment entered in these books is sealed. This day is, essentially, your last appeal, your last chance to change the judgment, to demonstrate your repentance and make amends.

As I noted in Days of Awe, Yom Kippur atones only for sins between man and G-d, not for sins against another person. To atone for sins against another person, you must first seek reconciliation with that person, righting the wrongs you committed against them if possible. That must all be done before Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is a complete Sabbath; no work can be performed on that day. It is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on Yom Kippur. It is a complete, 25-hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before Yom Kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of Yom Kippur. The Talmud also specifies additional restrictions that are less well-known: washing and bathing, anointing one's body (with cosmetics, deodorants, etc.), wearing leather shoes (Orthodox Jews routinely wear canvas sneakers under their dress clothes on Yom Kippur), and engaging in sexual relations are all prohibited on Yom Kippur.

As always, any of these restrictions can be lifted where a threat to life or health is involved. In fact, children under the age of nine and women in childbirth (from the time labor begins until three days after birth) are not permitted to fast, even if they want to. Older children and women from the third to the seventh day after childbirth are permitted to fast, but are permitted to break the fast if they feel the need to do so. People with other illnesses should consult a physician and a rabbi for advice.

Most of the holiday is spent in the synagogue, in prayer. In Orthodox synagogues, services begin early in the morning (8 or 9 AM) and continue until about 3 PM. People then usually go home for an afternoon nap and return around 5 or 6 PM for the afternoon and evening services, which continue until nightfall. The services end at nightfall, with the blowing of the tekiah gedolah, a long blast on the shofar. See Rosh Hashanah for more about the shofar and its characteristic blasts.

It is customary to wear white on the holiday, which symbolizes purity and calls to mind the promise that our sins shall be made as white as snow (Is. 1:18). Some people wear a kittel, the white robe in which the dead are buried.

Yom Kippur Liturgy
The liturgy for Yom Kippur is much more extensive than for any other day of the year. Liturgical changes are so far-reaching that a separate, special prayer book for Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. This prayer book is called the machzor.

The evening service that begins Yom Kippur is commonly known as Kol Nidre, named for the prayer that begins the service. "Kol nidre" means "all vows," and in this prayer, we ask G-d to annul all personal vows we may make in the next year. It refers only to vows between the person making them and G-d, such as "If I pass this test, I'll pray every day for the next 6 months!" Click the speaker to hear a portion of the traditional tune for this prayer.

This prayer has often been held up by anti-Semites as proof that Jews are untrustworthy (we do not keep our vows), and for this reason the Reform movement removed it from the liturgy for a while. In fact, the reverse is true: we make this prayer because we take vows so seriously that we consider ourselves bound even if we make the vows under duress or in times of stress when we are not thinking straight. This prayer gave comfort to those who were converted to Christianity by torture in various inquisitions, yet felt unable to break their vow to follow Christianity. In recognition of this history, the Reform movement restored this prayer to its liturgy.

There are many additions to the regular liturgy (there would have to be, to get such a long service). Perhaps the most important addition is the confession of the sins of the community, which is inserted into the Shemoneh Esrei (Amidah) prayer. Note that all sins are confessed in the plural (we have done this, we have done that), emphasizing communal responsibility for sins.

There are two basic parts of this confession: Ashamnu, a shorter, more general list (we have been treasonable, we have been aggressive, we have been slanderous...), and Al Chet, a longer and more specific list (for the sin we sinned before you forcibly or willingly, and for the sin we sinned before you by acting callously...) Frequent petitions for forgiveness are interspersed in these prayers. There's also a catch-all confession: "Forgive us the breach of positive commands and negative commands, whether or not they involve an act, whether or not they are known to us."

It is interesting to note that these confessions do not specifically address the kinds of ritual sins that some people think are the be-all-and-end-all of Judaism. There is no "for the sin we have sinned before you by eating pork, and for the sin we have sinned against you by driving on Shabbat" (though obviously these are implicitly included in the catch-all). The vast majority of the sins enumerated involve mistreatment of other people, most of them by speech (offensive speech, scoffing, slander, talebearing, and swearing falsely, to name a few). These all come into the category of sin known as "lashon ha-ra" (lit: the evil tongue), which is considered a very serious sin in Judaism.

The concluding service of Yom Kippur, known as Ne'ilah, is one unique to the day. It usually runs about 1 hour long. The ark (a cabinet where the scrolls of the Torah are kept) is kept open throughout this service, thus you must stand throughout the service. There is a tone of desperation in the prayers of this service. The service is sometimes referred to as the closing of the gates; think of it as the "last chance" to get in a good word before the holiday ends. The service ends with a very long blast of the shofar. See Rosh Hashanah for more about the shofar and its characteristic blasts.

After Yom Kippur, one should begin preparing for the next holiday, Sukkot, which begins five days later.

Limitations seem part and parcel of the human condition. But are limitations inborn? Or is it something we learn?

"Every man's enemy is under his own ribs -- i.e. his own desires." (Chovot HaLavovot)
Why is it that some people, of seemingly no extraordinary talent, achieve way beyond that of their peers? Einsteins and Edisons are born out of systems that once declared them failures. What skills did they possess which allowed them to achieve so much?

We need only look inside ourselves to see that in the "modern" educational system, it is often not so much what you learn that makes for such greatness, but rather, what you don't learn.

"There is one weapon which disables the mightiest of warriors and makes waste a hitherto invincible army. When "I can't" is whispered ever so quietly from the heart of the bravest of men, the smallest mouse might as well be the most fortified tank, for against neither will this soldier do battle."

LEARNING LIMITATIONS
A child's first breath is as much a miracle for us and no less for the baby. After nine months, oxygen, which previously flowed through the fetus' veins from the mother's own blood, now has to be processed by an untested lung -- an organ needing such precision and systems coordination that it would test the skills of a NASA technician.

The child does not think, "This is an impossible world, how can my lungs possibly process the oxygen I need?" Rather, it is unaware of any limitations, and knows not the pain of failure. Ridicule and defeat are not part of the infant's vocabulary.

Is a lung practical? Is the act of walking practical in a world where things do not stand on less than three legs? Everything for this child is possible, everything it will try.

Limitations are something it will learn.
All things have a good and a bad, a positive and a negative. Limitations similarly have these two aspects. It is sometimes important to realize one's limitations. But how much more do we tend to adopt the negative part of limitations. Imagine for a moment if Alexander Graham Bell had said, "You have to be practical." Where would the world be today!? Imagine if the unborn child could fathom the intricacies necessary to breathe, it would give up before even trying!

As children grow up, they learn apathy. Or to be more accurate, adults teach them.

WHO ARE WE?
How depressing a thought that we may be locked into some definition of who we are. But whose definition are we locked into? Surely it is only our own. The agility of our tongues to say a myriad of "I can't's" has destroyed our ability to dream. We are so clear and definite on what is and what is not possible, that we have become predictable. There is no spontaneity left in us. We have lost the spark in our living.

As we go through life, we remember our failures and hold on to them dearly. We analyze them, and deduce further what we can't do. This becomes our lifetime baggage. Our mistakes shape our character and our personality by dulling our goals and dreams.

If we could just stop saying, "I can't," a new world would open up.

Try taking "I can't" out of your vocabulary. Be serious about it. Every time you say "I can't," give 10 dollars to charity.

THE ANNUAL OPPORTUNITY
Yom Kippur is about stopping the "I can'ts" and becoming an "I can" person. It is the day when we cast away the mistakes that define our limitations. On Yom Kippur, we affirm: "These mistakes are not me. It was merely a temporary lapse in judgement. I won't do it again. I can achieve greater and bigger. I only have to try."
King David tells us: "[God] opens His hand and gives to all those who want" (Psalm 145:16). In truth, we can do whatever we want. The only condition is that we have to "want." If we don't want, then God cannot give.
In the secular world, dreams are for Mary Poppins and Snow White. They are laughed at, ridiculed and patronized. As we grow older, we categorize dreams as fantasy and fairy tales. The "real world," we are told, is far more brutal.

Yom Kippur is a time to return. A time to dream again the wildest of dreams, and to plan their execution. A time to rethink and regain our refreshing hope in life.

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER
Question 1: If you were born today with no concept of failure, what would you attempt to achieve?
Question 2: When was the last time you developed a major new life dream? Do you spend time thinking about new dreams?
Question 3: What have been your biggest dreams and life goals? How do you continue to nurture and pursue those dreams now?

It's the holiest day of the Jewish year. Might as well know what we're doing and get it right!

ANGEL FOR A DAY
What are "angels?" Angels are completely spiritual beings, whose sole focus is to serve their Creator.
On Yom Kippur, every Jew becomes like an angel. As the Maharal of Prague explains:

"All of the mitzvot that God commanded us on [Yom Kippur] are designed to remove, as much as possible, a person's relationship to physicality, until he is completely like an angel."

Just as angels (so to speak) stand upright, so too we spend most of Yom Kippur standing in the synagogue. And just as angels (so to speak) wear white, so too we are accustomed to wear white on Yom Kippur. Just as angels do not eat or drink, so too, we do not eat or drink.

FIVE ASPECTS
There are five areas of physical involvement which we remove ourselves from on Yom Kippur. They are:

Throughout the year, many people spend their days focusing on almost nothing else besides food, sex, work, superficial material possessions (symbolized by shoes) and superficial pleasures (symbolized by anointing). On Yom Kippur, we restore our priorities to what really counts in life.

As Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes:

"On Yom Kippur, the power of the evil inclination is muted. Therefore, one's yearning for spiritual elevation reasserts itself, after having lain dormant as a result of sin's deadening effect on the soul. This rejuvenation of purpose entitles a person to special consideration and forgiveness."

TESHUVA AND FORGIVENESS
Following the Golden Calf, Moses pleaded with God to forgive the people. Finally on Yom Kippur, atonement was achieved and Moses brought the second set of Tablets down from Mount Sinai.

From that day forward, every Yom Kippur has carried with it a special power to cleanse the mistakes of Jews (both individually and collectively) and to wipe the slate clean.

Though while Yom Kippur atones for transgressions against God, this does not include wrongs committed against other human beings. It is therefore the universal Jewish custom – some time before Yom Kippur -- to apologize and seek forgiveness from any friends, relative, or acquaintances whom we may have harmed or insulted over the past year.

THE FAST ITSELF
The Yom Kippur fast begins at sundown, and extends 25 hours until the following nightfall.

The afternoon before Yom Kippur, it is a special mitzvah to eat a festive meal.

As far as making your fast easier in general, try to pace your intake throughout the previous day by eating something every two hours. At the festive meal itself, eat a moderate portion of food so as not to speed up the digestion process. Also, don't drink any coffee or coke, because caffeine is a diuretic. Heavy coffee drinkers can also avoid the dreaded headache by slowly reducing the amount of coffee consumption over the week leading up to Yom Kippur.

After a meal we generally get thirstier, so when you complete the festive meal, leave some extra time before sundown to drink. Also, drinking lukewarm water with some sugar in it can help make you less thirsty during the fas

IN CASE OF ILLNESS
If someone is ill, and a doctor is of the opinion that fasting might pose a life-danger, then the patient should eat or drink small amounts.

The patient should try to eat only about 60 cc., and wait nine minutes before eating again. Once nine minutes have passed, he can eat this small amount again, and so on throughout the day.

With drinking, he should try to drink less than what the Talmud calls "melo lugmav" -- the amount that would fill a person's puffed-out cheek. While this amount will vary from person to person, it is approximately 80 cc., and he should wait nine minutes before drinking again.

How does consuming small amounts make a difference? In Jewish law, an act of "eating" is defined as "consuming a certain quantity within a certain period of time." Otherwise, it's not eating, it's "nibbling" -- which although it's also prohibited on Yom Kippur, there is room to be lenient when one's health is at stake.
The reason for all these technicalities is because eating on Yom Kippur is regarded as one of the most serious prohibitions in the Torah. So while there are leniencies in certain situations, we still try to minimize it.

Note that eating and drinking are treated as independent acts, meaning that the patient can eat and drink together during those nine minutes, and the amounts are not combined.

Having said all this, if these small amounts prove insufficient, the patient may even eat and drink regularly. In such a case, a person does not say Kiddush before eating, but does recite "Grace After Meals," inserting the "ya'aleh veyavo" paragraph.

Now what about a case where the patient's opinion conflicts with that of the doctor? If the patient is certain he needs to eat to prevent a danger to health, then we rely on his word, even if the doctor disagrees. And in the opposite scenario -- if the patient refuses to eat despite doctors' warnings -- then we persuade the patient to eat, since it is possible that his judgment is impaired due to illness.

Wishing you an easy fast and a meaningful Yom Kippur!

Repentance is predicated on wanting to stop the transgression. To achieve this, we must first analyze the dynamics of transgression. How does it happen?

There are four stages in the process of transgression:

To illustrate, let's use the example of someone trying to stop smoking. The scene is a man sitting by his desk at the office doing work. He has a history of addiction to cigarettes and has been trying to stop smoking, unsuccessfully, for three months. Let's observe him and see what happens...

DORMANT
At first the urge for a cigarette is DORMANT. It can be activated at any time but at this point the craving for a cigarette is nothing more than potential energy.

ACTIVE
The door to our smoker's office is opened briefly by a co-worker and a wisp of a cigarette passing in the hallway floats invitingly through the opened door and seductively over to the our friend's nostrils. He now begins to think of having a cigarette. The passion has become ACTIVE.

However, he does not smoke in his office and cannot go at the present time to the smokers' lounge set aside down the hallway. He continues working...

Our friend gets up to use the restroom. He's thinking about a cigarette now but the urge is not out of control.

SITUATION
After leaving the restroom he can either turn right and head back to his desk or head left to the smoking lounge. He makes a fateful left turn, (to supposedly speak to a friend) and finds himself moving quickly almost out of control into a SITUATION. In this case the smoking lounge.

The situation is where the transgression can be repeated and where the urge to transgress increases in intensity to unbearable degrees.

TRANSGRESSION
He enters the smokers' lounge and is immediately offered free cigarettes by all his friends. The smell of the freshly ground coffee mixed with tobacco smoke drives his passion for a cigarette into uncontrollable proportions, and before he knows it he is inhaling deeply a robust blend of tar, nicotine and carbon monoxide, wondering if he is ever going to "kick the habit."

Now I ask you the following question:

At what point did our friend lose the battle?

It was not in the smokers' lounge. It was when he turned left instead of right after leaving the restroom. Because even though at that point his forbidden desire was ACTIVE, he could not have fulfilled it because he did not have a SITUATION that afforded him the opportunity to smoke.

What we see from this story is that there are times when our behavior is still in our own hands. And although we may crave that which is forbidden, if we can keep ourselves away from SITUATIONS that afford us the chance to slip into the negative behavior, then we will be spared the transgression.

Not only that, but the urge to transgress, although it may be strong, usually does not reach uncontrollable proportions (impassioned frenzy?) until we are in a SITUATION.

As you can see from the story above, it is difficult to avoid the second stage when our desire becomes ACTIVE, since we live in a world with so much stimuli. But it is rare that a person is placed in a SITUATION against their will. Therefore, the key to overcoming transgression is keeping out of SITUATIONS.

Because of what we have just mentioned, part of breaking the pattern of transgression is to know when and where the transgression is usually performed.

That way, one can avoid situations that make the transgression possible. This is not a cop-out, an escape. Rather it is an effective strategy.

The ultimate goal is that once you are stronger, you can indeed re-enter that same situation -- and not stumble this time.

That is what we call "complete teshuva." That's heroic.

PERSONALLY SPEAKING
You now have to ask yourself three key questions:
Question 1: WHAT? What do you want to change?
Question 2: WHERE? In what location(s) are you most prone to committing this negative act?
Question 3: HOW? How are you going to avoid getting into this potentially negative situation the next time it arises?

GETTING UP AGAIN
Our sages teach us that the difference between a righteous person and a non-righteous person is not "that one makes mistakes and one does not."

Rather, the difference is that the righteous person makes mistakes and refuses to give up. While the non-righteous person gives up after he makes a mistake.

A righteous person can be compared to a baby learning to walk. The baby takes a few steps forward and falls down, only to get up and keep moving again. Imagine if the baby would give up after the first few knocks! He would never learn how to walk!

When we set out to do teshuva, we must know that it is a process that takes time. If you are not getting where you want to be, don't get discouraged!

God knew right from the start that humanity would make mistakes.
Indeed, King Solomon, one of the wisest men of all time, wrote: "There is no righteous person on the land who does good and does not sin" (Ecclesiastes 7:20).
Even if we fail to achieve the desired results, the very fact that we are trying to change is beloved by God.
So when you fall down, remember: It is an essential stepping stone to your eventual success.

Skip the paralyzing guilt. The classical confession, repeated five times during the prayer service, helps us do the inner work to maximize the power of the day.

There once was a draught in the land of Israel. The sages pleaded with God for mercy, but their prayers went unanswered in spite of their sincerity. Finally, Rabbi Akiva prayed, addressing God as Avinu Malkenu, our Father, our King. It was then that rain began to fall, nourishing the parched earth.

Rabbi Akiva's words opened the hearts and souls of not only that generation but also many future ones. We learned to see God not only as a monarch, but also as a loving parent.

One of the most distinct characteristics of a parent/child relationship is its unconditionality. Parents and children may feel alienated, but they can never cease to be linked. On Yom Kippur the opportunity to re-experience God's love for us is greater than it is at any other time. What that means is that God makes it possible to break down the most resilient barrier that we can erect separating us from our Father -- the barrier of sin.

The word "sin" has a terrible reputation. It is associated with paralyzing guilt that reduces our souls to dust. In fact, there are three words in Hebrew that describe "sin" which is really a failure of honest self-expression:

One is chet, which literally means missing the mark.

The second is avon, which means desire.

The third is pesha, which means rebellion.

When we take responsibility for our actions and for the direction that our lives have taken, (even when our decisions were colored by other people or external factors), we can begin to move forward. As long as we deny where we stand today, we will find that we are still there tomorrow.

There is one major obstacle to self-change. The past cannot be re-lived. The patterns that we have allowed ourselves to develop are extremely difficult to break.

How many times do we find ourselves trapped by the insidious, invisible automatic pilot. What frees us from the burden of self-imposed rigidity is God Himself. He is willing to reverse the laws of cause and effect in order to liberate us from ourselves. The one condition that is required is that we take responsibility for our choices, and regret the damage that we have done.

The classical confession is the means that we use to do this. It is said five times on Yom Kippur during each of the silent standing prayers, the "Amidah". Rather than ending our silent devotion by beseeching God to grant us peace, we add the confession before concluding.

By studying this confession, we can do the inner work to maximize the power of the day. Let us look at it carefully.

THE CONFESSION
ASHAMNU: We have become desolate.
We commit ourselves to recognizing that our failures are self-destructive.

BAGADNU: We have betrayed our potential, our families, God Himself.
We can question who we have been in our multifaceted role as a human being and as a Jew? Who have we betrayed? Is it not ultimately ourselves as well as others?

GAZALNU: We have stolen.
This includes not only financial theft, but theft of time, and misleading others into thinking that we are more accomplished than we actually are. This sin is especially damaging in that it reflects the fact that we have rejected the role in life that God has given us.

DEBARNU DOFI: We have spoken with "two mouths" -- we have been hypocritical.
We can confront our fear of rejection, and the dishonesty that we use to "cover ourselves." Who are we afraid of? Why? Should we not be more willing to tackle the reality that confronts us?

HEYVINU: We have made things crooked.
This includes all forms of dishonest rationalizations. Our hunger for decency sometimes is satiable through false justifications. We must remember that even a murderer invariably justifies himself at the time he commits the crime. We must rise above the false self-pity that at times lets us slip into situational ethics.

VIHIRSHANU: And we have made others wicked.
We have forced others into destructive responses. An example of this is a parent who slaps the face of an older child, almost forcing him into loss of verbal (and possibly even physical) self-control.

ZADNU: We have sinned intentionally.
The classical example is lying, in which case there is always full awareness of the factuality of the sin. How could we learn to bring God back into our consciousness when we are blinded by stress and fear?

CHAMASNU: We have been violent.
This includes all forms of taking the law in one's own hands. Almost everyone has fallen into the trap of letting the ends justify the means.

TAFALNU SHEKER: We have become desensitized to dishonesty.
Dishonesty feels "normal" to us. When we live in a time and place where lying is "normal," we can endeavor to envision our spiritual heroes in our shoes.

YATZNU RA: We have given bad advice.
This often is the result of being ashamed to admit ignorance. One of the most beautiful aspects of taking counsel from the Torah sages is their refreshing ability to use the words "I don't know." Committing ourselves to re-introduce this phrase can be life-changing.

KIZAVNU: We have disappointed God, ourselves and others by not living up to our promises.
We tell people that we can be counted upon, when we really mean that we can be counted upon if things work out. When they don't, it is important to ask one's self: Why is it that in situations where integrity and convenience can't coexist, it is always integrity that must be sacrificed?

LATZNU: We have been contemptuous.
We have diminished the importance of people and values that deserve respect. We all know at least one person who makes himself/herself "big" by devaluing others. If that person is ourselves, then we must question the direction that our need for self-esteem takes us.

MARADNU: We have rebelled.
We, in our bottomless insecurity, have found ourselves negatively proving ourselves endlessly both to God and to our fellow man. How many times this year could our lives been spiritually improved, if we didn't have to "teach" anyone a lesson?

NIATZNU: We have enraged people.
We have purposely pushed other people's buttons. We have caused God's anger to be awakened by our self-destructive behavior. We've let our desire for human connection lead us to destructive interactions.

SARARNU: We have turned aside.
We have confronted truth and looked the other way. We have chosen ease over morality.

AVINU: We fallen victim to our impulses.
Would our lives be improved if we learned to not only ask ourselves the question "what" but the question "when"? The desire for instant gratification has financial, physical and emotional implications.

PESHANU: We have broken standards of behavior that we know to be right and then justified this because of our egotism.
Have we not found ourselves justifying bad decisions with lie after lie? Have we not moved forward because to do so would mean tacitly admitting that our present level is not "perfect" enough to gratify our bottomless egos?

TZARARNU: We afflicted others.
Even in situations where harsh words are demanded, whenever we go beyond what is called for, we are accountable for the pain suffered by every unnecessary word. While we may be just letting off steam, our victims may believe every word that we say. The result can be a tragic diminishment of their self-esteem.

KISHINU OREF: We have been stiff-necked.
We have been stubborn and unwilling to redefine ourselves. No matter how wrong we are, we insist that we are right.

RISHANU: We have been wicked.
This includes all forms of physical aggression or financial injustice (such as refusal to repay a loan). When Moses saw his fellow Jew striking another Jew, he called him "rasha." He never used this phrase in any other context.

SHICHATNU: We have been immoral.
This includes all forms of dehumanizing "hunting" members of the opposite sex, or the equally dehumanizing choice of becoming "prey." Do we question why we select a specific image to be the one that we use to let the world know who we are?

TAINU: We have erred.
This, of course, is not a reference to sins that we have done because we weren't aware of better options. This refers to the choice to remain ignorant out of fear or laziness that inevitably leads to making further mistakes. This is a good time to make a solid, defined resolution to learn more. Let it replace the vague realization that time is slipping by.

TIATANU: We have misled others.
We have spread our ignorant assumptions and thereby victimized others.
The purpose of studying this list is not to wallow in guilt. It is to bring us to the point where we can honestly come before God and say, "This is who I was. Help me be who I want to be. Help me find my truest self."
His help is guaranteed. He is our Father, not only our King.

Everybody knows that New Year's resolutions are meant to be broken. But not in Judaism. The High Holidays are the best time of year for real, long-lasting change.

The Torah teaches us that it is never too late to change.

Changing for the better is called doing teshuva. The Hebrew word teshuva, which is often translated as repentance, actually means to "return." Return to God. Return to our pure self.

How do people become interested in self-improvement?

People have faults. The faults they have cause them to suffer in some way or another. This suffering limits an individuals freedom and is often painful. Hence, people want to change... to improve. To be free once again.
How does one change for the better? How does one do teshuva?

There are four steps of teshuva:
Regret. To regret what we have done wrong.
Leaving the negativity behind. To stop dwelling on the transgression in thought and action.
Verbalization. To verbally state the transgression

Resolution for the future. To be determined not to let the transgression happen again.
Now let's explain the four steps:

1) REGRET
What is regret and how is it different from guilt?
Well , we all know what guilt is. That uneasy queasy feeling that we have done something terribly wrong that can never be fixed...
But how is regret different?
Here is an example of regret:
An eccentric but wealthy, elderly acquaintance tells you to meet him at 2:30 pm on Sunday afternoon at Starbucks for coffee.
At 2:00 pm you are busy watching a great movie and decide not to show up to the 2:30 meeting.
That evening you find out that this elderly gentleman made the 2:30 appointment with 10 people, you being one of the 10.
Only five out of 10 arrived at the meeting. To each of the five who showed up, your eccentric acquaintance gave a bank check for $50,000 dollars.
Now you know what regret is. The feeling of missed opportunity.
When you find out that you missed out on 50 grand for a stupid movie, you feel regret, not guilt.
When we go against the will of God, the feeling we are supposed to have is regret. What a lost opportunity! We lost a piece of eternity!

2) LEAVING THE NEGATIVITY BEHIND
Imagine a drug addict who arrives at a rehab center for detox treatment. His parents leave him at the entrance and wish him luck after a tearful but hopeful goodbye. Little do they know that their addict son's suitcase is lined with enough cocaine to send a hippo to heaven.
It's not that our addict does not want to change. He really does! He just has not "let go" of the very things that have brought him to the negative state he is now in.
Did you ever learn bad habits from a particular roommate and decide that you want to stop being like that? Did you ever try doing it without changing roommates? It's nearly impossible.
"Leaving the negativity behind" means staying away from all of the paths that lead to that negativity. This includes crafting your environment to prevent temptation. And it means staying away from even mere thoughts, which can lead to the obvious next step -- action.

3) VERBALIZATION
Why is it important to say it?
There is a power to saying things as opposed to just thinking about them. Verbalizing a thought brings the idea to a new level of reality, awareness and understanding.
The verbalization that is done after committing a transgression makes one more fully aware of what was done. It therefore heightens the regret and strengthens the resolution not to commit the act again.
This verbalization is not to be done before anyone other than God. Not even your rabbi needs to know about what you have done. It's just between you and your Creator.

4) RESOLUTION FOR THE FUTURE
Make a firm decision not to repeat the negative behavior.
This step can be compared to stepping on the gas! Once you make this resolution, you're really starting to move! Every minute that passes puts miles behind you and the negativity.
You're on your way to becoming the "new you!"

God is our Father in Heaven and the King of the Universe. Connecting to that source is the yearning of every human being.

A parable is told about a young prince. He was kidnapped from the palace and was raised as a peasant laboring in the field -- far away from the glory and riches of the king's house. The king sent emissaries throughout the kingdom to find the prince, and finally, after many years, he was located.

When the king heard the news, he sent messengers right away to bring his son to the palace. The prince was reluctant to go -- he knew nothing of being the son of the king. The son, who had never seen anything more than a village hut, did not even know what a "palace" was!

But the king's messengers were persistent. They gave the son a set of clothes befitting of a prince, put him on a horse, and rode him towards the capital.

When the prince got to the palace, he was struck with fear. Everything seemed so immense and imposing. He didn't know what to do in a palace. He thought, "I'm a stranger here. This can't be mine. Is the king going to want to have anything to do with me?"

The messengers brought him to a door and told him that inside this room sits the king. The boy was scared. How would the king receive him?

The doors opened slowly. The boy saw the king, the most powerful man in the kingdom, by whose word vast numbers lived and died. He trembled with fear. He couldn't approach. And then, the boy realized -- it's not the king, it's my father! They fell into each other's arms.

PARABLE EXPLAINED
This is Yom Kippur. From the first of Elul, a month before Rosh Hashana, we begin our journey to see the King. On Rosh Hashana, we're in the palace of the King -- scared, standing in judgment before Him.

On Yom Kippur, we're His children.

Living in the modern world, it's hard for us to relate to loving a benevolent king. The kings we think of are monster dictators -- the target of revolutions to overthrow the king!

The Jewish concept of a king is different. The king of Israel has his power limited by the Torah: He may not amass excessive personal wealth, and he must carry a small copy of the Torah with him at all times to remind him of his obligations. The Israelite king was required to go into the actual heat of battle and fight on the front lines with his people! A Jewish king has awesome power, but he uses it all as a servant of the people. He uses his power to ensure a society where people can live peacefully and develop their full potential.

HOLY LOVE
The Biblical "Song of Songs" is a love song between a man and a woman. Yet the Talmud calls it the "Holy of Holies" -- the most sacred biblical text. Why? Because love is really an expression of our deep desire for the ultimate unity: to connect with God.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, because your love is better than wine... Pull me after you, we will run, the King has brought me into His chambers, we will take joy and gladness in you, we remember your love more than wine, unswervingly they love you. (Song of Songs 1:2-4)

Consider a woman who received as a gift a beautiful diamond ring. She's ecstatic. Everywhere she goes, she shows people the ring -- a flawless diamond. Then one time she shows it to a jeweler. He looks at it with his magnifying glass and announces: "There's a flaw in it!"

She'll never show the ring to anyone again. She may never even wear it again. It's the same diamond, it looks beautiful -- but now she knows it's not a truly flawless diamond, it's not perfect.

So what? Why doesn't she just pretend it's perfect? No one but an expert jeweler will know! It's because she's longing for something in life that is real and perfect. If she knows it's not real, even if no one else does, she can't take pleasure in it.

So too, deep down, no human being wants to settle for anything less than the ultimate.

The Hebrew letters of the verse, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" (Song of Songs 6:3), spell out "Elul," the month leading up to Rosh Hashana. We long for God and He longs for us.

LONGING FOR MEANING
Now let's look at another situation. A man is working at the airport taking bags off the baggage carousel. It's boring, but it's a living. We could do it, if we had no alternative.

Imagine one day that the airport manager comes to this man and makes him an offer: "I'll triple your salary. The only condition is that from now on, when you take a bag off the carousel and put it on the floor, you have to then pick up the same bag and put it back on the carousel. Then take it off again. Then put it back on again..."
It's the same physical effort, and the salary is triple. But who could do such a job?

Why not? Because a human being longs for meaning. Working in the luggage department of an airport may be boring, but at least there is the satisfaction of accomplishment and helping people. If you take away that purpose, a human being can't stand it!

We long for what's real and what's meaningful. We long for God, the ultimate reality.

Yet sometimes we lose sight of what we want. We get distracted by other things. How many times have we been inspired by a book or a movie, and thought afterwards: "I want to be great, I want to really experience living." Sometimes we followed up on those resolutions, but most of the time we just forgot.

In Judaism, we call that a "mistake." The word for "sin" in Hebrew is chet, which literally means "mistake." Our biggest mistake is that we want to relate to God, be close to God.

But we forget.

GIVING UP
We know what it's like when we're challenged. It's so hard sometimes to summon the effort. We think: how can we do it, it's such a hassle. So what happens? We end up thinking God is far from us. He's a tough, stern God, He wants too much from us, He doesn't really love us. Then we deny His existence. We construct a layer of cynicism -- there's really no meaning, why bother struggling. Let's just go back to bed...

Consider the words of King Solomon:
I sleep, but my heart wakes. Hear, my beloved is knocking, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one...I have put off my coat how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how can I make them dirty? My beloved put his hand on the door, and my heart was thrilled for him. I rose up to open to my beloved, but my beloved had turned away and was gone. My soul failed when he spoke; I sought him, but I could not find him, I called him, but he did not answer...I make you swear, daughter of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved tell him that I am sick with love. (Song of Songs, 5:2-8)

BREAKING THROUGH
There is a true story of an Israeli boy sitting in the hospital waiting room while his mother was having a minor operation. Since he was religious, he was reciting Psalms, the holy words of King David which comfort and inspire us during difficult times.

In the same waiting room was a kibbutznik, an older man. The kibbutznik saw the boy saying Psalms and came over to him. "Why are you doing this? This religious stuff is old-fashioned. It can't possibly do any good!"
The boy asked him, "Why are you here at the hospital?" The kibbutznik answered, "I came to pick up the body of my son. He's having an operation, but the doctors say there's no chance."

A few minutes later, the doctors came out and announced to the kibbutznik: "It's a miracle. The operation was successful. Your son will live."

The kibbutznik stood on his feet and proclaimed in a loud voice: Shema Yisrael -- "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one."

What's the meaning of this story? What type of man attacks a boy for saying Psalms for his mother?
Only someone who desperately wants to do it himself, but can't. At a time when his son is dying, he wants to be back in touch with his God. But he's spent so many years denying His existence, on building his life on the principle that God is not there...

But God is not really far from us. Just like we're longing for God, He's longing for us.

SMALL, STILL VOICE
How do we connect to the Almighty in everyday life? If deep down we are all longing for God, how can we capture that feeling?

The Bible tells us about the prophet Elijah. The Jewish people were being influenced to worship the idol Baal, so Elijah set up a test. He gathered all the people together at Mount Carmel (in Northern Israel), where he set up one altar, and had the priests of the Baal set up another altar. Elijah declared that whichever offering would be consumed, then that would prove who is the true God.

A fire came down from heaven and burned the offering on Elijah's altar. All the people shouted out: "The Lord, He is God!" (We say this seven times at the end of the Yom Kippur service). Then the people -- angry for having been misled -- turned on the priests of Baal and killed them.

It was a big miracle, but it didn't work. The evil Queen Jezebel sent messengers to kill Elijah, and he had to run for his life. While Elijah was hiding, God appeared to him:

And behold, God passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke the rock in pieces before the Lord. But God was not in the wind. And after the wind -- an earthquake. But God was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake -- a fire. But God was not in the fire. And after the fire was a quiet voice... (1-Kings 19:11-12)

What was God trying to teach Elijah with the wind, the earthquake, the fire, and the quiet voice? It is that God talks to us with a quite voice of love. The pleasure we get when we're with someone we love, or when we do something meaningful, or witness the beauty of a sunset, or discover the depths of Torah --this is when God shows us that He is really with us.

The entire world is God's message of love to us. Yom Kippur is the time when we are most open to receive this message.

"Awesome" has entered the lexicon as a positive term. The High Holidays are also known as the "Days of Awe." They must be awesome!

Yom Kippur is the apex in the annual cycle of Jewish spiritual consciousness. Despite the day's huge potential, we manage to dread it because of the overtones of fear and suffering. In truth, however, Yom Kippur is a day of positive energy and uplift. Perhaps what this holiday needs is some better PR!

The goal of Yom Kippur is to achieve a cathartic refocusing of ourselves on what we really want out of life, with a renewed commitment to attain it.

In what situations do we find ourselves most keenly focused? Have you ever woken up and thought there was a burglar in the kitchen? Ever been confronted by a wild animal? Did you feel sleepy or have your mind on the office? No! You were 100 percent alive and alert!

That's the power of fear: total focus.

Although we resent fear, people artificially induce it by adventuring (mountain climbing and bungee jumping) or by simulating danger (suspense films and roller coasters.) Why? Because fear refocuses us on "feeling alive," which is one of the greatest emotional rushes possible.

The crazy thing is that we're already alive. We just allowed ourselves to forget that pleasure, and like most things, we only appreciate them once they are threatened or gone!

There is a flip side to this: the universal fear of "missing out." Remember the TV show where the contestant has three minutes to fill his shopping cart with anything in the store? Certainly he won't fill up with laundry soap or spend his time reading comics at the checkout stand. Why? Because he fears wasting the opportunity.

THE FEAR OF MISSING OUT
The emotion that is appropriate to feel on Yom Kippur is called yirah in Hebrew. This word is commonly translated as "fear," which is imprecise, in the same way that fear is an imprecise description of the emotions of a shopping spree or roller coaster.

Yirah really means some combination of thrill, awe, and fear. The root of yirah is related to the Hebrew word ra'ah which means to see or apprehend. To have yirah means to see and apprehend the reality of the situation. This is related to how the emotion of fear marshals the senses.

To illustrate, if our speed-shopper didn't feel yirah and decided to spend his time reading comics, it is clearly because he had not apprehended the magnitude of the opportunity. Certainly, with hindsight he will wish he'd taken things more seriously so as not to have missed out.

This also explains the extensive use of the Hebrew word Chet in the Yom Kippur liturgy. Chet is probably translated as "sin" in your prayer book, but it really means to "make a mistake." This makes sense in light of Judaism's view that our job is to take pleasure in this world. (Of course the pleasures we're referring to are far more exciting than grabbing a dozen T-bones in aisle 13!)

We too would be better off if we had yirah and appreciated the immense potential that life has to offer. That's our concept of a sin -- making a mistake in not using our opportunities properly. We should be very afraid that we are going to miss out! Because we only have about 70 years to grab as much as we can.

INTERNAL EXPANSION
The basic commandments of Yom Kippur involve abstaining from eating, marital relations, working, wearing leather shoes, and anointing the body with oils. This isn't to do G-d or anyone else any favors. Throughout the year, many people spend their days focusing on almost nothing else besides food, sex, work, superficial material possessions (symbolized by shoes) and superficial pleasures (symbolized by anointing.) In Judaism the pleasures of this world are encouraged and even mandated in their proper time and place.

However, we have to realize that nobody on their deathbed regrets having not eaten more ice cream, or not having spent more time at the office. He will regret not having spent more time with his loved-ones, not having used his time more productively, and not having made a more significant impact on the world.

Yet why should we wait until the opportunities of youth have passed us by to realize what's really important? For this reason, Yom Kippur is designed to be 24 hours of uninterrupted soul searching and internal expansion.
Life has so much more to offer than just the mundane. Yom Kippur is the time to step back from all of that and refocus on the big picture. It's an opportunity to gain a sense of yirah that we are missing out on life's most profound pleasures, and are settling for trifles and frivolities. Yom Kippur is the time to regret those mistakes and cleanse ourselves of them by refocusing our sights firmly on what we really want out of life.

Jewish spirituality isn't about sitting alone, depriving oneself on a mountaintop. It's about savouring each moment as sublime and pregnant with an infinite potential for meaning, pleasure, and growth. The key is to be a little bit afraid that if we don't try hard enough, we're going to miss out on a life full of incredible opportunities.

Al Chet

A prime feature of the Yom Kippur service is recitation of the 44 mistakes known as "Al Chet." That's a long list. What does it all really mean?

When one begins to look at the task of teshuva (repentance), it can be overwhelming. We've made so many mistakes this past year that it's hard to know where to begin! Clearly, if we don't have an excellent system for tackling this project, it will be very time consuming and draining.

In Judaism we say that if you can get to the root of the problem, you can eliminate it entirely. That is the goal of the "Al Chet" prayer that we say so many times during Yom Kippur services. The 44 statements comprising "Al Chet" are not a list of mistakes, but rather identify the roots of mistakes.

We'll examine the "Al Chet" prayer, one statement at a time. But remember: "Change" is a process that doesn't happen immediately. Don't try to conquer too many things at once; it may be too overwhelming. Instead, choose the areas that cut closest to the root of your problems. This will maximize your success in the Teshuva process.

1. For the mistakes we committed before You under duress and willingly.
How can we be held accountable for mistakes committed under duress?! The answer is that sometimes, we get into compromising situations because we are not careful. Many of these "accidents" can be avoided by setting limitations to avoid temptation.

Ask yourself:
Duress:

Did I put myself into compromising situations, and then when I got into trouble rationalize by saying it was "unavoidable" or "accidental?"

Have I tried making "fences" so that I won't transgress?

Have I considered setting up a penalty system as a deterrent against certain mistakes?

When I legitimately got into an unavoidable situation, did I stop to consider why God might want me to experience this particular challenge?

Willingly:
Did I make mistakes because I was lazy, or because my lower, animalistic urges were getting the better of me?

2. For the mistakes we committed before You through having a hard heart.
Hardening of the heart means that I closed myself off to deep, human emotions like compassion and caring. The newspapers and streets seem so filled with one tragic story after another, that I can become desensitized to the whole idea of human suffering.

Ask yourself:
Did I ignore the poor and the weak?

When I did give charity, was it done enthusiastically or begrudgingly?

Was I kind, compassionate and loving when my family and friends needed me to be?

Do I feel the pain of Jews who are assimilating, and of how that impacts the Jewish nation as a whole?

3. For the mistakes we committed before You without thinking (or without knowledge).
Every day, a Jew prays to God for the ability to think and reason. A clear mind is integral to our growth and development. If we're riding in a car and staring aimlessly out the window, then for those precious moments we are nothing more than zombies.

Ask yourself:
Do I carefully examine my society and surroundings, weighing out what is right and what is wrong?

Do I constantly review my major goals in life?

Do I strive for a constant awareness of the presence of God?

Is one of my goals in life to be a "thinking" individual?

4. For the mistakes we committed before You through things we blurted out with our lips.
A wise man once said, "You don't have to say everything you think." The Talmud says that when we speak, our lips and teeth should act as "gates," controlling whatever flows out.

Ask yourself:
Do I think before I speak?

Am I prone to thoughtless outbursts?

Do I make hasty promises that I am unlikely to fulfill?

5. For the mistake we committed before You in public and in private.
Ask yourself:

Public:
Did I do foolish or degrading things to attract attention or approval?

On the other hand, did I do good deeds in public, that I otherwise wouldn't have done -- simply so that others would see me?

Private:
Did I act privately in a way that I would be ashamed if anyone found out?

Did I consider how God is watching even in my most private moments?

Did I convince myself that because nobody sees me, the mistakes somehow don't count?

6. For the mistakes we committed before You through immorality.
When the Torah speaks of immorality, it usually refers to sexual immorality. Since sex is the strongest human drive (next to survival itself), it can therefore be used to achieve the greatest degree of holiness, or -- as we so often witness -- the greatest degree of debasement.

Ask yourself:
Did I speak or act in a way that lowered sexuality as a vehicle for spiritual connection?

Do I realize how sexual immorality reduces the spiritual potential of future, more holy unions?

7. For the mistakes we committed before You through harsh speech.
Speech is the unique human faculty, and is the way we build bridges between each other -- and through prayer, with God. That's why abuse of speech is considered one of the gravest mistakes possible.

Ask yourself:
Did I speak to anyone in a harsh and forceful manner?

Did I gossip?

Did I engage in idle chatter that wasted my time and that of others?

Did I seek opportunities to elevate others with an encouraging word?

8. For the mistakes we committed before You with knowledge and deceit.
As we know, knowledge is a powerful tool -- and a dangerous weapon when misused.

Ask yourself:
Did I use knowledge of a certain situation to deceive others?

Did I use knowledge to deceive myself -- i.e. did I rationalize away my bad actions?

Did I use knowledge to circumvent the spirit of the law?

Did I use knowledge to show off and impress others?

9. For the mistakes we committed before You through inner thoughts.
The Talmud says that "Bad thoughts are (in one way) even worse than bad deeds." This is because from a spiritual perspective, "thoughts" represent a higher dimension of human activity. ("Thoughts" are rooted in the spiritual world; "deeds" are rooted in the physical world.)

Ask yourself:
Did I think in a negative way about people, or wish bad upon them?

Did I fantasize about doing bad deeds?

10. For the mistakes we committed before You through wronging a friend.
"Friendship" is one of the highest forms of human activity. When we reach out and connect with others, we experience the unity of God's universe, and bring the world closer to perfection.

Ask yourself:
Did I strive to go out of my way to help friends, based on my commitment to be their friend?

Was I insensitive toward my friends' needs, or did I hurt their feelings?

Did I take advantage of someone who trusted me as a friend?

Have I made a conscious effort to learn how to be a better friend?

11. For the mistakes we committed before You through insincere confession.
On Yom Kippur when we say each line of the "Al Chet" prayer, we gently strike our heart -- as if to say that it was "passion and desire" that led to these mistakes. Do we really mean it?

Ask yourself:
Did I ever apologize without being sincere?

Have I committed myself to "change" without seriously following up?

12. For the mistakes we committed before You while gathering to do negative things.
Engaging in evil as a lone individual is bad enough. But just as the secular courts treat "conspiracy" more seriously, so too God despises the institutionalizing of bad habits.

Ask yourself:
Am I part of a regular group that discusses negative things?

Did I participate in a gathering that led to negative activities?

Am I careful to associate only with moral and ethical people?

13. For the mistakes we committed before You willfully and unintentionally.
Willfully:
Did I ever "act out" in a desire to demonstrate my independence from God?

Unintentionally:
Did I make mistakes out of carelessness? Could they have been avoided?

14. For the mistakes we committed before You by degrading parents and teachers.
Parents and teachers are our first authority figures in life, and by way of association they teach us how to be respectful toward God and His mitzvot. The breakdown of respect for parents and teachers corrodes the moral core of society.

Ask yourself:
Parents:
Do I sometimes think poorly of my parents?

Do I ever actually communicate a dislike toward them?

Do I make the effort to appreciate how much my parents have done for me?

If I were a parent, what would I want from my children? Am I giving that now to my parents?

Do I give special attention to the needs of the elderly?

Teachers:
Have I maximized opportunities to learn from rabbis and teachers?

Have I actively sought the guidance and counsel of wise people?

15. For the mistakes we committed before You by exercising power.
God apportions to everyone exactly what they need: whether wealth, intelligence, good fortune, etc. Only when we feel our position is independent of God do we seek to dominate others for our own advantage.

Ask yourself:
Did I take advantage of those who are weak -- either physically, economically or politically?

Did I manipulate or intimidate someone into doing something he'd really rather not have?

16. For the mistakes we committed before You through desecrating God's name.
As a "Light Unto the Nations," every Jew is a messenger of God in this world, responsible to project a positive image.

Ask yourself:
Did I ever act in a way that brought less honor and respect to God?

Did I ever act in way that gave a bad impression about what it means to be a Jew?

Did I take every opportunity to enlighten others about the beauty of Torah?

17. For the mistakes we committed before You with foolish speech.
People have a habit of talking for talking's sake. When we're bored, we may get on the phone, and "talk and talk and talk." Don't talk without a purpose. In any conversation ask yourself: "Is there any point to this conversation? Am I learning anything? Am I growing?" If you can't identify the point, there probably is none.

Ask yourself:
Did I waste time by talking about trivial things?

Do I seek to share words of Torah at every opportunity?

18. For the mistakes we committed before You with vulgar speech.
Did you ever find yourself in the middle of a distasteful joke? It can be insidious, but all of a sudden you find yourself dragged into a discussion that has taken a turn for the worse. Learn to switch tracks. Monitor your conversations, and when you notice them slipping off track, pull them back, gently and subtly.

Ask yourself:
Did I contaminate my mouth with vulgar speech?

Did I listen to vulgar speech or jokes?

Did I protest when I heard vulgar speech?

Do I always express myself in the most pleasant way possible?

19. For the mistakes we committed before You with the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination).
The Yetzer Hara is that little voice inside each of us that tries to convince us to pursue physical comfort, at the expense of greater spiritual pleasures.

Ask yourself:
Have I pursued my physical drives for their own sake -- without involving any spiritual dimension?

Do I resort to the excuse that "I couldn't help myself"?

Have I studied Torah techniques for channeling physical drives into holiness?

20. For the mistakes we committed before You against those who know, and those that do not know.

Ask yourself:
Have I wronged people behind their backs?

Have I wronged people to their faces?

21. For the mistakes we committed before You through bribery.
Bribery is most subversive because we are often not aware of how it affects our decisions. In the words of the Torah, bribery is "blinding."

Ask yourself:
Have I compromised my honesty and integrity because of money?

Have I compromised myself for the sake of honor and flattery?

Have I failed to do the right thing because I wanted approval?

22. For the mistakes we committed before You through denial and false promises.
The mark of a great person is a meticulous commitment to truth -- despite whatever hardships, embarrassment, or financial loss might be involved.

Ask yourself:
Have I lied to myself?

Have I lied to others?

Does my job ever involve having to lie?

Have I rationalized the acceptability of a "white lie?"

23. For the mistakes we committed before You through negative speech (Loshon Hara).
It is said that big people talk about ideas, medium people talk about places and things, and little people talk about people. Gossip causes quarrel and division amongst people -- and tears apart relationships, families, and even entire communities. As King Solomon said: "Life and death are in the hands of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21).

Ask yourself:
Do I enjoy gossip?

When I hear gossip, do I accept it as true, or do I reserve judgment?

Have I set aside time to study Jewish law on how to avoid Loshon Hara?

24. For the mistakes we committed before You through being scornful (or scoffing).

Ask yourself:
Did I mock and ridicule serious things?

Did I make fun of someone who I considered less intelligent or attractive?

Did I shrug off constructive criticism as meaningless?

25. For the mistakes we committed before You in business.
Integrity is the mark of every great person. The Talmud says that the first question a person is asked upon arriving in heaven is: "Did you deal honestly in business?"

Ask yourself:
Have I been scrupulously honest in all my financial transactions?

Was I harsh in trying to beat the competition, or did I seek ways for us both to thrive?

Have I chosen a career that gives me freedom to pursue my personal and spiritual goals as well?

When I was successful in business, did I show my appreciation to God for that success?

26. For the mistakes we committed before You with food and drink.
Eating is such an essential human activity, that the rabbis say all of a person's character traits are revealed at the dinner table.

Ask yourself:
Did I eat in order to gain energy to do mitzvot, or did I eat for the sake of the animalistic act alone?

What secondary activity did I do while eating? Did I read the paper and watch TV? Or did I engage in meaningful conversation?

Have I made every effort to eat kosher food?

Did I express gratitude to God for providing me with the food?

Did I overeat?

Did I eat unhealthy foods?

Did I waste food?

27. For the mistakes we committed before You through interest and extortion.
Gaining financial advantage because someone else is destitute shows poor character. That is why the Torah forbids loaning money to another Jew on interest.

Ask yourself:
Have I made a profit as a result of someone else's misfortune or downfall?

Am I greedy?

Am I stingy?

Do I feel responsible for helping to satisfy the needs of others?

Do I appreciate the Torah prohibition against charging interest -- and have I studied these laws?

28. For the mistakes we committed before You by being arrogant.
The trait the Torah uses to describe Moses is "the most humble man." Humility is a key to spiritual growth, because it allows us to make room in our life for other people - and for God.

Ask yourself:
Have I made others feel lowly in order to raise myself higher?

Do I dress and speak in a way that draws extra attention to myself?

When walking through a door, do I usually go first, or let others go first?

29. For the mistakes we committed before You with eye movements.
Sometimes we can harm others without even saying a word. For instance, the Talmud discusses the illegality of staring into someone else's home or yard.

Ask yourself:
Did I look at someone else's private things that were not my business?

Did I gawk at an accident scene on the freeway?

Did I look at the opposite gender in an inappropriate and disrespectful way?

Did I signal my disdain for another person by rolling my eyes?

30. For the mistakes we committed before You with endless babbling.
Often we feel uncomfortable with silence, so we fill the time with meaningless chatter. The Torah tells us, however, that more than anywhere, God is found in the sound of silence.

Ask yourself:
Do I participate in conversations with no meaningful content?

Do I think before speaking and measure my words carefully?

Am I careful to concentrate when reciting prayers and blessings?

31. For the mistakes we committed before You with haughty eyes.
The Talmud says that a person's eyes are the "window to the soul." An arrogant person is therefore referred to as having "haughty eyes."

Ask yourself:
Do I communicate warmth and care to people with my eyes?

Have I avoided interacting with certain people because I felt they were too unimportant for me?

Have my career and relationships suffered because my ego is over-inflated?

32. For the mistakes we committed before You with a strong forehead (brazenness).
The Talmud says there are three traits which characterize Jews: kindness, compassion, and shame. "Shameful" means feeling embarrassed and remorseful when doing something wrong.

Ask yourself:
Do I examine the moral consequences before making difficult decisions?

Do I appreciate how my moral behavior defines me as a human being?

Have I studied what Judaism says about conscience and morality?

33. For the mistakes we committed before You in throwing off the yoke (i.e. refusing to accept responsibility).
Judaism defines greatness as having a greater degree of responsibility. Deep down this is what every human being wants -- hence the excitement over a promotion or raising a family.

Ask yourself:
Have I accepted family responsibilities, and gladly assisted whenever needed?

Do I keep my commitments to friends?

Do I show up on time?

Would my colleagues describe me as "reliable and dependable?"

Have I taken responsibility for the problems in my community?

Have I accepted my unique responsibilities in this world as a Jew?

34. For the mistakes we committed before You in judgment.
The Torah tells us it is a mitzvah to be dan li-kaf zechus -- to judge people favorably. This means, for example, that when someone shows up an hour late, rather than assume they were irresponsible, I should rather try to get all the facts, and in the meantime, imagine that perhaps they were delayed by uncontrollable circumstances.

Ask yourself:
Am I in the habit of judging people favorably?

Do I wait to make any determination until I have all the information?

Do I sometimes judge God unfairly?

35. For the mistakes we committed before You in entrapping a friend.

Ask yourself:
Have I violated the trust of people who have confidence in me?

Have I divulged confidential information?

Have I taken advantage of family and friends by manipulating them into doing me favors?

36. For the mistakes we committed before You through jealousy (lit: "a begrudging eye").
Someone who has a "good eye" will sincerely celebrate the success of others, while someone with an "evil eye" will begrudge the success of others.

Ask yourself:
Do I experience resentment at the success of others? Or do I experience genuine joy?

Do I feel that others are undeserving of their success?

Do I secretly wish to have my neighbor's things for myself?

37. For the mistakes we committed before You through light-headedness.
Sometimes we can forget that life is serious. We're born, and we die. What have we made of our lives? Have we been focused on meaningful goals, or are we steeped in trivial pursuits?

Ask yourself:
Do I spend time reading unimportant sections of the newspaper, or listening to frivolity on the radio?

Do I spend time with friends and colleagues discussing inconsequential details of sports and entertainment?

Do I act with proper reverence when I'm in a synagogue or learning Torah?

Do I speak about Biblical personalities and our Jewish Sages with the proper respect?

38. For the mistakes we committed before You by being stiff-necked.
In the Torah, God refers to the Jewish people as "stiff-necked." This is a positive attribute in the sense that we are not easily swayed by fad and fashion. Yet on the negative side, we can also be unreasonably stubborn.

Ask yourself:
When I'm involved in a disagreement, am I frequently anxious and upset, rather than calm and rational?

Do I think that I'm always right? Do I usually let the other person speak first, or do I always want to speak first?

Do I listen attentively to the other side?

Have I been single-minded and lost my objectivity just because I really wanted something?

39. For the mistakes we committed before You by running to do evil.

Ask yourself:
When I transgressed the Torah, did I do so eagerly?

Did I run to do mitzvot with the same enthusiasm?

Did I slow down when reciting blessings and prayers?

After completing a certain obligation, do I run out as fast as possible?

40. For the mistakes we committed before You by telling people what others said about them.

Ask yourself:
Have I encouraged contention, and turned people against each other?

Did I reveal secrets?

Have I studied the Jewish laws prohibiting such speech?

41. For the mistakes we committed before You through vain oath taking.
One of the Ten Commandments is "not to take God's Name in vain." Integral to our relationship with God is the degree to which we show Him proper respect.

Ask yourself:
Have I been careful not to utter God's Name casually? (Or worse yet: "I swear to G--!”)

When I use God's Name in a blessing or prayer, do I concentrate on the deeper meaning of His Name?

Have I sworn or promised falsely while invoking God's Name?

42. For the mistakes we committed before You through baseless hatred.
The Talmud tells us that more than any other factor, hatred among Jews has been the cause of our long and bitter exile. Conversely, Jewish unity and true love between us is what will hasten our redemption.

Ask yourself:
Was I disrespectful toward Jews who are not exactly like me in practice or philosophy?

When I disagree with someone on an issue, have I let it degrade into a dislike for the person himself?

When I saw a fellow Jew do evil, did I hate only the deed, or did it extend into a hatred for the person himself?

When someone wronged me, was I eager to take revenge?

When someone wronged me, did I bear a grudge?

43. For the mistakes we committed before You in extending the hand.

Ask yourself:
Have I withheld from touching things that don't belong to me?

Have I stretched forth my hand to the poor and the needy?

Have I joined hands with wicked people?

Have I extended my hand to help in community projects?

44. For the mistakes we committed before You through confusion of the heart.
The Sages tell us that ultimately all mistakes stem from a confusion of the heart. This is why on Yom Kippur we tap our chest as we go through this list of "Al Chet's."

Ask yourself:
Have I not worked out issues because of laziness?

Have I made mistakes because I emotionally did not want to accept what I logically knew to be correct?

Have I properly developed my priorities and life goals?

Am I continually focused on them?

It is the holiest space in the Jewish world. It is also the holiest space inside each one of us. The Holy of Holies. Plunge the depths...

The goat will bear upon itself all their iniquities ... (Leviticus 16:22)

One of the most perplexing topics that we encounter in the Torah concerns the "scapegoat" -- the goat that was offered on Yom Kippur carrying on its back all the sins of the Jewish people.
Maimonides tells us that the "scapegoat":

...brings atonement on all the sins in the Torah, whether they be light or grave, whether the transgression was committed unintentionally or with deliberation, whether the sin is known to the perpetrator or whether it is not... (Laws of Teshuva 1:2)

And the Talmud adds:
This goat (sair) refers to Esau, as it is written: but my brother Esau is a hairy (soir) man. (Genesis 27:11) [The Hebrew words sair, "goat," and soir, "hairy" are spelled identically.]

[It is further written]: The goat will bear upon itself all their inequities (avonotam). In Hebrew this word avonotam can be split into two words: avonot tam, meaning "the inequities of the innocent." This is a reference to Jacob about whom it is written: Jacob was a wholesome (tam) man (Genesis 25:27). The word wholesome in Hebrew also being tam. (Midrash - Bereishit Raba 65:15)

Thus the goat represents Esau, and somehow he is made to carry the sins of the Jewish people, the descendants of Jacob. Is there any way we can bring this strange idea a bit closer?

THE WAYS OF ATONEMENT
At the very beginning of the Laws of Teshuva, Maimonides explains that teshuva requires confession, and he describes this confession as consisting of three elements:

An enumeration of the actual sin.

An expression of regret for having done the sin.

An expression of firm resolve never to do it again.

He then goes on to discuss Yom Kippur:
Yom Kippur, is a time of teshuva for everyone -- for the individual as well as the congregation. It marks the final stage of forgiveness and pardon for Israel, therefore, everyone is commanded to repent and confess on Yom Kippur... The confession that Israel has adopted to say on Yom Kippur is: "But we have sinned," and this is the essence of confession. (Laws of Teshuva 2:7-8)

It is perplexing to note that two of the three elements Maimonides himself earlier stated as essential requirements of confession are missing from the confession recited on Yom Kippur -- regret, and the undertaking never to repeat the sin. If this confession is the final act of teshuva adopted by Israel, how is it that the most important parts of this act of contrition are absent from it?

To be able to answer this question, it is important to understand the role that confession plays in teshuva. Jews do not confess to a priest who gives them absolution. The confession is done in private and is made directly to God. As teshuva is an act of the heart, what possible role does such a confession play in it?

The rationale of teshuva is change. A person's actions reflect his beliefs, his character and his personality. When he repents, he is making a statement: "I am not the same person today as the one who committed the sin. I have changed and such an act no longer expresses the person I am today. I look back at the person who committed the sin, and I no longer see myself in him or identify with that act."

When this is a sincere process, God accepts it and takes note of the change. Since the person has changed, and the sin no longer reflects his character and personality as they are today, it is impossible to hold the person of today morally responsible and liable for the acts of a person who no longer exists, and God duly pardons the sin.

A PROCESS OF CHANGE
As we humans are unable to see into a person's heart, and we can only see each other's deeds, we cannot take note of teshuva in human justice systems. Nevertheless we are able to relate to the principle -- if the sinner becomes a genuinely different person we can recognize the justice of excusing him from having to suffer the consequences of actions that do not reflect the character of the person he has become and who does not deserve to be punished.

In effect then, teshuva involves the shedding of old character. We are unable to alter our height, our IQ, or our age, but we can alter our character. When we repent we are changing our inner furniture, leaving only the outer shell intact.

The shedding of character is in effect externalizing what was, until then, the innermost core of our beings, our old operating system, the primary source of our past behavior and motivation. We shed these like a snake sloughs off his old skin and emerges with a brand new one.

To externalize the inner man requires speech. It is through speech that what is inside the heart and mind of a person becomes a part of the outer world. The verbalizing of teshuva in the form of confession is the act of shedding old thoughts and attitudes, rejecting them and making them part of the external world instead of our inner environment.

Change is difficult. We often regret our actions as soon as they are finished, but rarely do we succeed in really changing ourselves. Most often we repeat our mistakes and suffer the regret all over again each time we repeat the mistake. The resolution never to do this again is what generally defeats our sincere desire to be better than we are at present. This is where Yom Kippur comes in.

On Yom Kippur, the High Priest entered the Holy of Holies. This is a special environment, and enetering at the wrong time caused the deaths of Aaron's two sons:

And God said to Moses: "Speak to Aaron your brother - he shall not come at all times into the Sanctuary (the Holy of Holies) within the curtain, in front of the cover that is on the Ark, so that he should not die; for in a cloud will I appear on the Ark-cover. (Leviticus 16:2)

HOLY OF HOLIES
In order to understand the significance of entering the Holy of Holies, we have to understand how we ourselves are put together.

The human soul has five levels, of which the lower three are connected to our physical realities. At the core of our being we have a neshama which is always connected to God, to an extent that it is difficult to tell where the divine presence ends and the person begins. This neshama is connected to our ruach, our spiritual selves, which in turn is connected to our nefesh, the life force that burns within us and is the engine that drives us.

As the Holy of Holies in the Temple is the place that the Shechinah inhabits, the High Priest who enters this sanctuary on Yom Kippur, enters it on the level of neshama.

The point of life is self-definition. Were we aware of ourselves on the level of neshama , and were we conscious of our connection to God, the point of our lives would be quite clear to us. We wouldn't be at all confused as to why we exist and what we are supposed to do with our lives. But the point of life is to live with free will, and therefore such soul-consciousness is ordinarily withheld.

Instead, we are torn between our raging life force, our nefesh, and the awareness of our spirituality, our ruach , and this conflict creates within us a confusion as to who and what we are. This confusion is the source of our transgressions, and is the dilemma that forms the backdrop against which we exercise our free will.
Of the neshama, we are ordinarily totally oblivious. Thus, we are always engaged in the battle of self-definition, and we can never attain total resolution.

Stepping into the Holy of Holies eliminates the confusion and provides total clarity of vision as to the source of our being. But to enjoy such clarity runs contrary to the purpose of life in this world, and thus to enter the Holy of Holies is to step out of life as it must be lived in this world. When Aaron's two sons took this step, they terminated the point of their existence here.

And yet, such clarity is a necessary part of the existence of every Jew. We must be able to obtain an occasional glimpse at our origins, otherwise the accumulation of the errors of existence will move us steadily further and further away from our origins until the way back is so unclear that it is impossible to attain. That would also serve to eliminate the point of our existence, because when we totally lose the ability to find our way back to our origins we also lose our free will.

THE GIFT OF YOM KIPPUR
That is why God gave us Yom Kippur. On this one special day, God allowed us to step out of our ordinary selves and gave us a glimpse of our true connection to Him, and allowed our representative, the High Priest, to become self aware on the level of neshama. This allowed us to return to our origins, to temporarily resolve our conflicts, and to be able to push out the things separating us from God.

Now we can easily comprehend the difference between the confession of the penitent, and the confession we utter on Yom Kippur. In the confusion of ordinary life, when we are not self aware on the level of neshama, changing of character and self-definition is an extremely difficult process. To attain the levels of sincere regret and firm resolution never to return to past misdeeds -- the necessary concomitants of all character change -- are extremely arduous tasks. Therefore, teshuva is extremely difficult to attain, and the penitent must reach very lofty spiritual levels on the basis of his own efforts.

On Yom Kippur -- when we are offered a glimpse of our origins and the confusion of self-definition is largely eliminated -- the rejection of all our negatives becomes a matter of course. We are able to push out all our sinful activities as being truly unreflective of our true selves, because we are provided a glimpse of who we really are. Thus the confession of Yom Kippur is simply that we have sinned. We regret our inequities and can truly resolve never to return to them not through our own efforts, but through the clear vision of ourselves that the holiness of the day provides.

Isaac's twins, Jacob and Esau, attained this total clarity of self-definition on their own, through freedom of choice. Jacob defined himself as a neshama -- a wholesome man, totally consistent and whole and free of contradictions. Esau declared, "Look I am going to die," thus openly defining himself as a creature of this world only, a man of the field.

During the rest of the year we lose the clarity of vision that allows such sharp definition, but on Yom Kippur, this original distinction between Jacob and Esau reestablishes itself. This then is the secret behind the idea of the "scapegoat."

The loss of the Temple and the sacrifice of the "scapegoat" does not mean that we have entirely lost Yom Kippur. But as we inhabit a world of action rather than spirit, we are always hampered by an inability to translate our thoughts into deeds. Today, Yom Kippur still helps us to attain the spiritual level of true teshuva.

In the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, Yom Kippur had two unusual rituals in Jewish life: The entrance of the High Priest into the Holy of Holies, and the selection of twin goats. What's behind all this?

The objective of Yom Kippur is to bring about forgiveness for the entire people:

For on that day I will forgive you, to purify you from all your sins, in front of God you will become pure. (Leviticus 16:30)

Aside from the entire nation, special attention is given to the Sanctuary and the Kohanim, the priests:

He [the Kohen] shall atone for the Holy Sanctuary and for the Tent of the Meeting, and for the altar, he will atone; for the Kohanim and for the entire people of the congregations, he shall atone. (Leviticus 16:33)
Clearly, part of the service deals with improper behavior on the part of the Kohanim.

The Torah tells us that Aaron himself should not enter the inner sanctum at all times, only at the proper time, and in the proper sequence of worship. When Aaron's sons, Nadav and Avihu, entered the Sanctuary and approached God in a moment of ecstasy, Aaron is given very specific instructions on the manner and conditions for service.
God spoke to Moses: "Speak to your brother Aaron that he not come at all times into the Holy Sanctuary that is inside the curtain before the Ark cover that is on the Ark so that he not die, for in a cloud I shall appear on the Ark cover." (Leviticus 16:2)

The meaning is clear -- the line between service of God and self-styled service may be a thin one, but that line may be the difference between life and death.

UNDERSTANDING YOM KIPPUR
In order to understand this better -- and with it, the service of Yom Kippur -- we must draw a comparison with the actions of the sons of Aaron which led to their deaths.

The Shem MiShmuel suggested that the sin of Nadav and Avihu resulted from unbridled passion and love of God. This passion was generated by the events of the eighth day of the inauguration of the Tabernacle. The Talmud also tells us that this day was especially beloved for God:

It was taught, on that day there was as much joy in front of God as the day of creation of heaven and earth. (Talmud - Megillah 10b)

Reacting to the joy, and acting out of a feeling of ecstasy, Nadav and Avihu approached God in an improper manner and died as a result.

The seriousness and somberness of Yom Kippur stands in stark contrast to the ecstasy of Nadav and Avihu. And its message is clear: The pitfall of religious experience born of ecstasy is trying to create a relationship which is not wanted by God.

To act out of ecstasy alone is to make the experience a subjective and selfish one -- one desired by the worshiper but not by the object of worship. The end result may mean that the worshipper is crossing the line between creating a god in his image instead of manifesting the image of God within himself.

This does not mean that Judaism does not recognize that a sincere act of worship can come out of ecstatic experience. Indeed it can. We all desire a joyful relationship with God, but such a relationship can only be developed from a desire to please God in the manner He has taught us He wants to be pleased.

LOVE AND FEAR OF GOD
This is the balance between "love of God" and "fear of God" that the Sages speak of. Only after the Yom Kippur service in which we follow God's detailed instructions, may we find ourselves relating to God through love. In the days of the Temple, the Yom Kippur service concluded in a great outpouring of joy:

Rabban Shimon ben Gamiliel taught: There were not joyful days in Israel like the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur. (Mishnah Ta'anit 4:8)

The Sages tell of the streets of Jerusalem filled with well-wishers. The High Priest would not arrive home for hours after the services were complete. The greatest spectacle of celebration known as the Simchat Beit Hashoeva would follow Yom Kippur by a week.

It was said, he who never saw the Simchat Beit Hashoeva never saw joy in his life. (Mishnah Sukka 5:1)
The balance between fear of God (demonstrated by strict adherence to the details of observance) and joyous celebration of the love of God is highlighted by this festival.

Another -- perhaps the archetypal example -- of the ecstatic expression of love for God was demonstrated by King David (Samuel II 6:16), but David also possessed a profound sense of fear of God, as the Book of Psalms bears witness.

The ecstasy of Nadav and Avihu was missing this second most important balancing component. As a response to their behavior, therefore, we see the detailed instructions for the service of Yom Kippur.

The incense which they offered is replaced by the incense which Aaron is commanded to offer, and one error in the performance of this task could be fatal. The food and drink of the sons of Aaron is replaced by a day of complete abstinence from food and drink.

TWIN GOATS
Other details of the service of Yom Kippur also take on new meaning when seen in contrast to the actions of Nadav and Avihu. The central worship of the day involved two goats -- one offered in the Sanctuary, the other sent into the desert.

This practice would seem to be a response to the different types of worship -- in the Sanctuary, for God, and the other that had no place in the Sanctuary, or even among the living at all, sent to a place of desolation.

This worship is quite bizarre. Why would we take a goat simply to reject it and send it away? The law seems to teach us about the stark difference between service of God which is accepted and beloved by God, versus the "scapegoat" which represents that which has been rejected by God. Yet there is more:

The two goats on Yom Kippur; the mitzvah is for them to be identical in appearance, size, and value, the two shall be chosen together. (Talmud - Yoma 62a)

The Talmud teaches that these two goats should look identical -- like twins. This seems strange. Why would the goats need to be identical, especially when their purpose is so different?

The idea of twins -- twins who are opposites -- is a familiar theme in the Torah. The most famous twins in the Torah are, of course, Jacob and Esau. They were complete opposites, one good, the other evil. No one could ever confuse them. On the other hand, perhaps they did possess some similarities. Rashi (Genesis 25:27) tells us that until the age of 13 they were indistinguishable, as does the Midrash:

Esau was worthy to be called Jacob and Jacob was worthy to be called Esau. (Midrash Zuta Shir HaShirim 1:15)
They were so similar that at times their similarity caused confusion. One dressed as the other, one spoke like the other.

It is strange that the divine plan required twins? Perhaps just being siblings would have been enough? Evidently the Torah wanted these two, Jacob and Esau, to be almost the same. Perhaps their similarity represents the thin line between acceptable behavior and idolatry, between good an evil.

Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner noted this parallel, and suggested that when things look alike from the exterior, it is a sign that one must look within -- at the essence -- in order to discern the difference (Pachad Yitzchak, Purim, p.43).

The idea of the two goats is intrinsically related to the personalities of Jacob and Esau, identical on the outside but so different in terms of their essence. The reason that we need to offer the second goat -- the scapegoat -- is that so often we find ourselves dressing up like Esau instead of behaving like the Jacob/Israel that we are.

The origin of the two goats themselves may very well be found in that famous episode when Jacob is persuaded by his mother to dress up like his brother. Rebecca instructs him:

"Go now to the herd and bring me two good goats..." (Genesis 27:9)

The Midrash expands on this idea:
How do we know that it was in the merit of Jacob [that we take the two goats]? These are the goats that his mother referred to "Go now to the herd and bring me two good goats..." Why are they called "good"?

Rabbi Brechia said in the name of Rabbi Chelbo: "They are good for you and good for your children. They are good for you when you enter, and take the blessings from your father, and they are good for your children, when they soil themselves in sin all year round. Then they will bring these two goats, and offer them and be cleansed." (Pesikta Rabbati 47)

Jacob's entrance to his father may be paralleled with the once-yearly entrance of the Kohen Gadol , the High Priest, into the Holy of Holies. Jacob prepared for this appearance with the two goats, as his descendents would in the future.

A GOAT FOR AZAZEL
While we may now understand the symbolism of the two goats, we have not gained any insight into why the goat sent into the wilderness was called a goat "for Azazel."

Rabbi Menachem Azarya DeFano, in his work "Sefat Emet," explains that the name Azazel is an acronym for ze le'umat ze asa Elokim -- "God has made one as well as the other," as it says:

In the day of prosperity be joyful, in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other. (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

According to Rabbi DeFano, the contrast between good and evil, with the recognition that both emanate from God, is encapsulated by this verse. In explaining further, the Midrash makes a link that God made both Jacob and Esau (Pesikta D'Rav Kahana Chapter 28).

It is fascinating that the quintessential example brought to illustrate that both righteousness and evil are from God is none other than the case of Jacob and Esau. We understand from this that, in a sense, good needs evil in order to exist, if for no other reason than to have something to reject. It is the contrast with evil which allows good to shine.

Problems arise when man adopts the ways of evil, identifying with them instead of rejecting them. This path is a rejection of God and the image of God within us, as is illustrated by another detail of the Yom Kippur service: Lots were drawn to determine which of the two identical goats will be sacrificed in the Sanctuary and which will be for Azazel.

The idea of drawing lots is apparently a concession to the "random" element of human existence. And yet this attitude that life is randomly determined, rather than orchestrated by God, is considered evil and associated with the nation of Amalek, whom Israel was commanded to obliterate from the face of the earth.

Remember what was done to you by Amalek on the way as you left Egypt. When they happened upon you... (Deut. 25:17-18)

Rashi explains "they happened upon you" as "by coincidence." In his brief comment, we can discern the difference between Judaism and the philosophy of Amalek. We believe in a God who is involved in history, while for Amalek life is no more than a series of coincidences. Haman, one of the most famous descendants of Amalek, used lots to determine the best day to attack and destroy the Jews. The Jews, in response, turned to God and put their faith in His involvement in history (and were saved). Similarly, Moses lifted his hands heavenward in prayer while the battle against Amalek raged around him, signaling to the Jews that faith in God is the only ammunition against Amalek.

When the Jew has sinned and has begun to act like Esau, forgetting God Who is constantly involved in history, God invites him to enter the Sanctuary, represented by the High Priest.

The drawing of the lots forces us to examine our behavior and the underlying philosophy of chance or coincidence. The breeding ground for sin is in this forgetfulness. Therefore, on Yom Kippur, nothing can be forgotten, every detail is important.

Every detail is recognition of God's involvement in our lives. The day is filled with awe and fear, a fear which can only spring from the understanding that God is intimately involved in our lives. This fear, in turn, gives birth to the joy which can only spring from the understanding that the same God whom we fear is the God of forgiveness and unlimited love.

The 10 days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are part of the High Holidays, too. Chickens: read no further.

The period between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are called the Ten Days of Teshuva (Repentance).

On Rosh Hashana, the righteous and the wicked receive their judgment. One should not see himself as wicked or be so presumptuous as to consider himself righteous. Therefore we have 10 days to improve and tip the scales to the side of righteousness. Yom Kippur is the culmination of this period.

During the Ten Days of Teshuva, Jews engage in intense introspection for the purpose of self-improvement. We become more scrupulous in the observance of mitzvot.

THE CUSTOM OF KAPAROT
If God ruled the world by strict justice, then every time a person would do something purposely wrong, a giant 100-ton weight would fall from the sky and squash him. Fortunately for us, God also rules by mercy and allows us to gain atonement.

One of the methods of atonement is through the ritual of Kaparot. This is done by taking a chicken, or money, and waving it around your head three times. The chicken is then slaughtered and given to charity (as is the money if used in place of the chicken).

The point of using a chicken is to show us the volatility of life. One minute the chicken is alive the next minute it's not. And if God had ruled by strict justice, our lives might have gone as fast as the chicken's!

This will certainly help a person understand the severity of the Ten Days of Teshuva.

While swinging the chicken (or money) above your head, say:

"This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement. This rooster is going to die (or this money will go to charity), but I am going to a good long life and to peace."

The full text can be found in any siddur or Yom Kippur Machzor.

CHANGES IN THE PRAYERS
Havdallah is recited at the conclusion of Rosh Hashana, but only the blessing on wine and the final blessing.

If Rosh Hashana falls on Saturday night, "V'todianu" is added in the fourth blessing of the "Amidah."

The third of Tishrei, the day after Rosh Hashana, is a public fast day called Tzom Gedaliah. All the laws of the minor fast days apply. The fast begins at dawn and ends at nightfall.

There are several small but important changes in the daily prayers that should be noted.

These are the changes to be made in the "Amidah:"

In the first blessing, we add the sentence "Zachreinu l'chaim."

In the second blessing, we add the phrase "Mi chamocha."

In the third blessing, we conclude with "Hamelech Hakadosh," instead of the usual "Ha'El Hakadosh." If this is not done, the entire Amidah must be repeated. (The other additions do not require one to repeat the Amidah.)

In the 11th blessing, we conclude with "Hamelech Hamishpat," in place of "Melech Ohave Tzedekah U'mishpat."

In the 18th blessing ("Modim"), we add the sentence "U'ch'tov l'chaim."

In the final blessing ("Sim Shalom" or "Shalom Rav") we add the sentence "B'sefer chaim."

The prayer "Avinu Malkeinu" is said after the repetition of the "Amidah" in the morning and afternoon.
In the "Kaddish," we say "l'ailah u'l'ailah mikol," instead of the usual "l'ailah min kol."

The story of Jonah is read on Yom Kippur. In a certain sense it is very much the story of Yom Kippur's essence -- return to God. It teaches us about our voyage and ourselves.

Jonah was a prophet who lived in the first Temple period. His first mission was given to him by the most famous of first Temple prophets, Elijah -- he was to anoint Jehu as king in the year 705 BCE. His were stormy times; the Jewish people were trapped in a pattern of spiritual decline that ended with first the conquest and expulsion of the Ten Tribes by the Assyrians in 607 BCE, and finally with the destruction of Jerusalem, which was followed by 70 years of exile.

As a prophet, Jonah knew far better than we can imagine what the inevitable end would be if no transformation would take place.

After the failure of his second mission, to rebuke Jehu's successor, Jeroboam the second, he was given his final mission.

The mission that God gave him was one that he could not open his heart to accept. He was sent to the capital of Assyria, Nineveh, to urge its population to repent. How bizarre the assignment sounded to him! His own people were falling uncontrollably into a chasm that seemed to have no bottom, yet he was sent to save others -- the archenemies of Israel!

Jonah actually dreaded success of this mission far more than he dreaded failure. How could he bear to witness the contrast of the Assyrians returning to God in the face of his prophecy, with the Jews stubbornly resisting any chance for spiritual self-preservation. Therefore, he attempted to escape from his destiny.

Jonah fled from Israel by ship to silence the voice of prophecy that can only be heard in the Holy Land. But a storm at sea forced him into the recognition that no one can escape from God. In the midst of calm waters, his boat was tossed in a tempest until it was on the verge of breaking. The sailors prayed to their gods.

Jonah went to sleep.

He knew the truth. It was he who had already cut himself off from God; there was nothing to say and nothing to pray for.

His apathetic behavior aroused the curiosity of the sailors. He told them his story. He believed in God, yet he was running away from Him.

Knowing he was the cause of the storm, he implored the sailors to toss him overboard so they could save themselves. As decent people they resisted this suggestion until the critical moment when it became clear that within seconds they would all die. At that point, they listened and threw him into the turbulent depths. The storm abated immediately. Jonah thought his story had ended.

CONFRONTING SELF
But it had just begun. He was swallowed by a whale, and miraculously survived. In the dark fetid innards of the whale, he recognized what he had never truly been willing to see, in his most exalted moments of prophecy, God's intimate knowledge and care over each life and each moment. He was a prophet and awareness of God was not a novelty to him. But recognition of the depths of God's mercy was.
It was then that Jonah did teshuva -- he repented, returning to God and the best in himself.
Now he recognized that no matter how painful the contrast between the Assyrians and the Jews would be to him, that God's motivation could only be one of mercy. Once he recognized this truth, he was willing to open the gates that he had closed so resolutely -- the gates of prayer. He was now ready for the most significant undertaking of his life.
The whale spit him out at the shores of Nineveh.
He told the residents of Nineveh what awaited them: In forty days they could either make radical changes in their lives, or the city would be destroyed by God's wrath.
The changes in Nineveh happened with speed and drama. The king himself led the people into a total reformation. Nineveh's destruction was postponed for 40 years.
Everything that Jonah had feared had come to pass. The contrast that he dreaded was more vivid in reality than it was as a prophecy. He had only one further request that he be spared of seeing the destruction of his own people, which he knew would come eventually and at the hands of the Assyrians at that. The fact that the Jews would not take example from Nineveh would be the final act of callousness that would seal their fate. God did not answer Jonah's request with words. He answered by deed.
After Jonah left Nineveh, he went to the outskirts and made himself a shelter in the shade of a kikayon tree. It was a source of consolation to him in his anguish, and made him aware of God's compassion. But God sent a worm to eat through the branches and kill the tree.
In response, all the pent up feelings of agony poured forth from Jonah's lips. God replied "You took pity on a kikayon for which you did not labor ... Shall I not take pity on Nineveh, that great city in which there are more than 120 thousand people who do not know their right hand from their left, and many beasts as well?"
In short, what God was telling Jonah is the flaws of the residents of Nineveh did not make them unworthy of life. Each person is part of the world's spiritual ecology, and brings benefit to the world at least as much as the kikayon plant brought benefit to Jonah.
GOD'S MERCY
Yalkut Shimoni, the most encyclopedic of all Midrashim (written by Rav Shimon Hadarshan in the thirteenth century) gives us deep insight into the most profound recognition of Jonah's life:
At that moment he fell on his face and said, "Rule your world according to the attribute of mercy" as it is written "to You, God, is mercy and forgiveness."
The message of Jonah's prophecy is one for each one of us. The Vilna Gaon tells us that Jonah's journey is one that we all make. We are born with a subconscious realization of the fact that we have a mission. We seek escape, because our mission is often one that we are afraid to attempt.
In the text of the Jonah story we are told that the places that he sought were Yaffo and Tarshish . While these places actually exist and are known as Jaffa and Tarsis, the literal meaning of the names of these cities are "beauty" and "wealth."
We comfort ourselves externally, by escaping from our inner knowledge of our mission through the pursuit of wealth, and by surrounding ourselves with beauty. Our bodies are compared to Jonah's ship. We face moments in life in which the fragility of our bodies is inescapable, as in when we face illness, or confront moments of danger that seem to last an eternity until they are resolved.
The sailors on the ship are the talents and capacities that work for us. They too cannot save us from our futile desire to escape ourselves. The whale is the symbol of ultimate confrontation of the recognition that our ultimate fate is the grave. For some, that recognition almost feels like a welcome refuge. For others, facing death forces them at last into pursuing life!
As with Jonah, our recognition of our own vulnerability can bring us to finally transcend our ego, surrendering our desire to control events, and beginning at last to accept our mission in life, no matter what it is.
We can suffer the vicissitudes of life, and recognize that we ourselves have caused the storms to toss us back and forth. We can move forward to fulfill our purpose, but we are still not free of conflict and anxiety until we finally recognize that every step along the way, we are embraced by Divine compassion.
It is then that we are ready to return to God. While for each of us the path is our own, and never yet explored by any other person, Jonah knew the beginning and the end of the journey that we all make.
Yom Kippur is the day in which each one of us can relive Jonah's journey. Let us finally move towards whatever the next step is for us in fulfilling the mission for which we were created. Let us use the time to return to God with joy and love.

Is Yom Kippur a day of atonement or a day of judgment? What is the meaning of this day on which decisions regarding life and death are finalized?
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For on this day he shall provide atonement for you to cleanse you; from all your sins before the Lord shall you be cleansed. (Leviticus 16:30)
A day of atonement and cleansing does not feel like a day of judgment. Yet we know that the final seal on a person's fate for the following year is stamped on Yom Kippur. It is the final day of the Days of Awe, which are all days of judgment. In what way does Yom Kippur differ from the rest? What is the meaning of this day of judgment, on which decisions regarding life and death are finalized, and which is considered a day of spiritual cleansing?
Nachmanides (Vayikra, 23,24) explains that the difference between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur is that Rosh Hashana is a day of judgment that is tempered with mercy, whereas Yom Kippur is a day of mercy that is tempered with judgment. We shall attempt in this essay to plumb the deeper meaning of these words.
Let us begin our search for the quality of this day with the Talmud.
Rabbi Ami taught: "The numerical value of the word haSatan, meaning 'the Satan' in Hebrew is 364 (heh=5, shin=300, tet=9, nun =50, for a total of 364)." Explains the Ran: "The days of the solar year are 365; there is one day where the Satan has no permission to do his thing; that day is Yom Kippur" (Nedarim, 32a).
Does this mean that man has no free will on Yom Kippur? Obviously not! The Torah itself outlines the consequences of failing to observe the fast of Yom Kippur or the prohibition against work; obviously people have the free will to do as they wish on Yom Kippur as on any other day. What significance does the Satan's day off have for us? And for that matter who is the Satan?
WHO IS SATAN?
Reish Lakish taught: "Satan, the Evil Inclination, and the Angel of Death are all one and the same" (Baba Basra, 16a).
Thus the negative force is subdivided into three parts:
it urges people to commit sins, (evil inclination);
it then prosecutes them for performing these sins in the heavenly court, (the Satan);
and finally carries out the sentence of death issued by the heavenly court as retribution for the commission of sins.
These negative phenomena are all elements that exist in the world as it is today. In the World to Come, there is no death. Just as there is no death, there is no Evil Inclination, and there is no sin and nothing to prosecute. Thus the entire personality of the Satan is one that exists only in our world. We all hope to experience the sphere of existence where the Satan will not be present at all.
This world has wars and tribulations. The Evil Inclination, the Satan, and the Angel of Death has power to rule in this world, but the World to Come has no tribulation or sighs or subjugation; it has no Evil Inclination, no Satan and no Angel of Death as it is written, "He will eliminate death forever and my Lord God will erase tears from all faces" (Isaiah, 25:8) (Ozer Midrashim, 146).
If the Satan has a day off on Yom Kippur, this means that Yom Kippur is really a day that belongs to the World to Come rather than this world. Indeed the Yom Kippur service attests to this in many ways. The one that is most germane to our topic is the following: The Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, called out the forbidden God's name in public 10 times on Yom Kippur. The significance of this is clear from the following passage of the Talmud.
"And God will become King over all the earth; on that day God will be One and His Name will be One" (Zechriah, 14:9). Is He not One today? Rabbi Acha bar Chanina said: "The World to Come is not like this world. In this world upon hearing good tidings one says, 'Blessed are you etc. Who is good and does good,' and upon hearing bad tidings one says, 'Blessed are you etc. the True Judge.' But in the World to Come all the blessings will be, 'Who is good and does good.'"
"And His name will be One" -- is His name not One today? Rabbi Nachman bar Yizchok said: "The World to Come is not like this world. In this world God's Name is written with the letters Y/H/V/H, whereas it is pronounced with the letters A/D/N/Y (spelling Adonay , meaning Lord or Master), but in the World to Come it will be all one. It will be both pronounced with the letters Y/H/V/H and written with the letters Y/H/V/H" (Pesachim 50a).
The Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur was referring to God by the name He has in the next world, not by the name He goes by in this one. The Satan has power in our world, and therefore God can only be described here as A/D/N/Y, the Lord and Master, whereas in the next world, where the negative force of the Satan does not exist, God is clearly the only Being.
Thus the first point about Yom Kippur is that it is a slice of time that belongs to the next world rather than this one. By fulfilling the commandments of the day Jews are elevated temporarily to the heady existence of the World to Come where there is no Satan.
13 ATTRIBUTES OF MERCY
The next point concerns the 13 Attributes of Mercy. One of the things we do on Yom Kippur in each of the prayers is recite the 13 Attributes of Mercy several times. The recitation begins each time with a special emphasis on the introductory phrase, which is repeated separately by the reader and the congregation each time the 13 Attributes of Mercy are recited, as though it was a significant phenomenon in and of itself, not merely an introduction to what follows: "God passed before him and proclaimed..." (Exodus 34:6).
Rabbi Yochanan said: "If this wouldn't be expressly written in the Torah, we would not even be allowed to think it. This teaches you that God wrapped Himself in a prayer shawl like the leader of the congregation (who is a messenger of the entire congregation) and showed Moses a method of prayer. He told him, "Whenever Israel sins, they should pray in this manner in front of Me, and I will forgive them" (Talmud, Rosh Hashana, 17b).
But what is so unthinkable about this? How does this differ from other matters that God taught Moses?
Jewish tradition offers the following interpretation. The difference between this world and the next is based on the manifestation of God that is present in each. God created this world and manifests Himself in it with His name Elohim. It is for this reason that the Divine Name Elohim is interpreted to refer to the Attribute of Justice. This world is a place where the Satan is also allowed to have power, where the fierce battle between good and evil is constantly raging, and where there is judgment.
In the World to Come, God manifests Himself under the name YHVH. In the World to Come, there is no evil, there is no battle with the Satan, and therefore no judgment.
Although we refer to the world in which the name YHVH reigns supreme as the World to Come, implying that it follows this one we live in now and will only come into being at some future time, this is actually a misnomer. This is true only from our point of view, for we must pass through the travail and battle of this world in order to get to that one. But from God's point of view that world comes first. It is closer to His Absolute Unity and in the process of creation when God assumed His mantle of Creator, He was manifest first as a single entity that is the sole source of all being, with no negative anti-force in existence. From God's point of view, the World to Come already exists.
HIDDEN LIGHT
Because He wanted man to work for his reward, He hid part of the brightness of the light shed by His Presence and made possible the existence of an anti-force in order to provide an arena for man's exercise of free will. From God's point of view, this sphere of revelation where the existence of an anti-force is possible, represents a second, lower level of existence. This is the separate world in which we live at present, where the holy name Elohim is the proper designation for the revelation of God's presence that is manifest.
As we have explained however, Yom Kippur is really a slice of time cut out of the World to Come. In order to achieve this, the manifestation of God in the next world must temporarily replace the manifestation of God in this one. There must be a divine presence that sheds such an overpowering light that the forces of the Satan are temporarily shut down.
On Yom Kippur ordinary reality is pushed out of the way. The divine presence usually present in our world that gives shape to our ordinary reality is intensified and brightened. Since the presence of the anti-force of the Satan is inversely proportional to the brightness and intensity of God's divine presence, as the light of God's presence intensifies, the presence of the Satan is diminished. The voice of the anti-force is turned down. The only voice that is heard throughout the world is the benign voice of the 13 Attributes of Mercy.
We now have made two points. Yom Kippur corresponds to a level of being that is really appropriate to the World to Come, and we access this level of being through our prayers by reciting the 13 Attributes of Mercy.
ROSH HASHANA VS. YOM KIPPUR
Let us now look at Nachmanides once again. We explained in the essay on Rosh Hashana that even though the judgment of Rosh Hashana involves the decisions that are made regarding a person's life in this world, these decisions are reached by determining his status in the next world. The basis of consideration on Rosh Hashana of a person's suitability for the next world is his performance in this world.
But this world is the one in which the Satan has a say. He is allowed to prosecute and state his case. The decision whether the person belongs in the next world can only be reached after giving full hearing to what the prosecution has to say, and being able to present an adequate defense.
Yom Kippur begins from the opposite direction. Suitability for the next world is judged in terms of the next world itself, where there is no Satan, and therefore no prosecution. There is no need to present a defense to establish suitability. Thus one is automatically judged suitable. This part is the mercy.
The judgment of Yom Kippur is a consideration of feasibility. On the assumption that a person is suitable for admission into the next world, is it feasible to help him attain entry there given the way he is in this world and given the fact that he has free will? Is it possible to provide him with a life in this world that will guide him into achieving entry to the next one?
The matters under consideration on both Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are identical. The difference is the starting point from which they are being considered.
On Rosh Hashana, which is a day of judgment mitigated by mercy, a person must establish his right to be present in the next world by answering the objections of the prosecution. One must pass through the dark corridors of justice before he can bask in the sunshine of mercy. On Yom Kippur one is armed with the benefit of the decisions of mercy before he is subjected to the harsh scrutiny of justice.
INTEGRATION OF THE SOUL
Let us attempt to bring these ideas down to earth a little more. Jewish tradition teaches us that a person has five levels to his soul. The three main ones are:
nefesh which is in his body,
the neshama which is the point where he is joined with God,
in between, there is the ruach which unites the nefesh with the neshama.
The neshama, which is with God, is in the next world already. The neshama is at the root of being, the nefesh at the furthest extremity.

As long as all the parts of his soul constitute a single integrity, no matter how porous such an integrity may be, a person stretches all the way to the next world. He is a single entity at all levels. He belongs in the World to Come in some fashion. What he needs to do is to straighten out the contradictions and inconsistencies between the various levels of his soul till they fit together in perfect harmony.

But what if he is a split personality, a spiritual schizophrenic?

His nefesh is so far away from expressing the personality of his neshama , that for all intents and purposes there is no correspondence between the two. As all the levels of the soul are fully alive in themselves even when considered independently of each other, such a person really breaks into two people. He is one person down here in this world, on the level of his nefesh, and a totally different person at the level of the neshama, which is with God in the World to Come.

Such being the case, he is treated by God as two separate people who have nothing to do with each other. The nefesh being of this world as it is in the body has one fate and the neshama another.

The commandments of Yom Kippur are two:
to refrain from any sort of work as on Shabbat, and
to fast (the rabbis extended the commandment to fast to include washing, wearing shoes and sexual intercourse).

The commandments of Yom Kippur are designed to demonstrate that our neshama and our nefesh are parts of a single integral unit that is inseparable. Our nefesh behaves in the same way as our neshama . It neither eats or drinks, or engages in intercourse or labor. It sits the entire Yom Kippur in the synagogue, engaged in prayer and basking in God's divine presence.

Integration of the soul is called teshuva, which means "to return" in Hebrew. Through teshuva we return to ourselves. As long as we are ourselves there is no need to return to God. We are already fully united with His presence.

A day of atonement can be a day of judgment after all. Atonement allows the various parts of the soul to integrate and return to each other once again. When we succeed in this endeavor, the united soul is automatically assured of being able to pass judgment.

Atonement, spiritual purity and judgment really do fit together very well.

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Yom Kippur is probably the most important holiday of the Jewish year. Many Jews who do not observe any other Jewish custom will refrain from work, fast and/or attend synagogue services on this day. Yom Kippur occurs on the 10th day of Tishri. The holiday is instituted at Leviticus 23:26 et seq.

The name "Yom Kippur" means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what the holiday is. It is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year. In Days of Awe, I mentioned the "books" in which G-d inscribes all of our names. On Yom Kippur, the judgment entered in these books is sealed. This day is, essentially, your last appeal, your last chance to change the judgment, to demonstrate your repentance and make amends.

As I noted in Days of Awe, Yom Kippur atones only for sins between man and G-d, not for sins against another person. To atone for sins against another person, you must first seek reconciliation with that person, righting the wrongs you committed against them if possible. That must all be done before Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is a complete Sabbath; no work can be performed on that day. It is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on Yom Kippur. It is a complete, 25-hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before Yom Kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of Yom Kippur. The Talmud also specifies additional restrictions that are less well-known: washing and bathing, anointing one's body (with cosmetics, deodorants, etc.), wearing leather shoes (Orthodox Jews routinely wear canvas sneakers under their dress clothes on Yom Kippur), and engaging in sexual relations are all prohibited on Yom Kippur.

As always, any of these restrictions can be lifted where a threat to life or health is involved. In fact, children under the age of nine and women in childbirth (from the time labor begins until three days after birth) are not permitted to fast, even if they want to. Older children and women from the third to the seventh day after childbirth are permitted to fast, but are permitted to break the fast if they feel the need to do so. People with other illnesses should consult a physician and a rabbi for advice.

Most of the holiday is spent in the synagogue, in prayer. In Orthodox synagogues, services begin early in the morning (8 or 9 AM) and continue until about 3 PM. People then usually go home for an afternoon nap and return around 5 or 6 PM for the afternoon and evening services, which continue until nightfall. The services end at nightfall, with the blowing of the tekiah gedolah, a long blast on the shofar. See Rosh Hashanah for more about the shofar and its characteristic blasts.

It is customary to wear white on the holiday, which symbolizes purity and calls to mind the promise that our sins shall be made as white as snow (Is. 1:18). Some people wear a kittel, the white robe in which the dead are buried.

Yom Kippur Liturgy
The liturgy for Yom Kippur is much more extensive than for any other day of the year. Liturgical changes are so far-reaching that a separate, special prayer book for Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. This prayer book is called the machzor.

The evening service that begins Yom Kippur is commonly known as Kol Nidre, named for the prayer that begins the service. "Kol nidre" means "all vows," and in this prayer, we ask G-d to annul all personal vows we may make in the next year. It refers only to vows between the person making them and G-d, such as "If I pass this test, I'll pray every day for the next 6 months!" Click the speaker to hear a portion of the traditional tune for this prayer.

This prayer has often been held up by anti-Semites as proof that Jews are untrustworthy (we do not keep our vows), and for this reason the Reform movement removed it from the liturgy for a while. In fact, the reverse is true: we make this prayer because we take vows so seriously that we consider ourselves bound even if we make the vows under duress or in times of stress when we are not thinking straight. This prayer gave comfort to those who were converted to Christianity by torture in various inquisitions, yet felt unable to break their vow to follow Christianity. In recognition of this history, the Reform movement restored this prayer to its liturgy.

There are many additions to the regular liturgy (there would have to be, to get such a long service). Perhaps the most important addition is the confession of the sins of the community, which is inserted into the Shemoneh Esrei (Amidah) prayer. Note that all sins are confessed in the plural (we have done this, we have done that), emphasizing communal responsibility for sins.

There are two basic parts of this confession: Ashamnu, a shorter, more general list (we have been treasonable, we have been aggressive, we have been slanderous...), and Al Chet, a longer and more specific list (for the sin we sinned before you forcibly or willingly, and for the sin we sinned before you by acting callously...) Frequent petitions for forgiveness are interspersed in these prayers. There's also a catch-all confession: "Forgive us the breach of positive commands and negative commands, whether or not they involve an act, whether or not they are known to us."

It is interesting to note that these confessions do not specifically address the kinds of ritual sins that some people think are the be-all-and-end-all of Judaism. There is no "for the sin we have sinned before you by eating pork, and for the sin we have sinned against you by driving on Shabbat" (though obviously these are implicitly included in the catch-all). The vast majority of the sins enumerated involve mistreatment of other people, most of them by speech (offensive speech, scoffing, slander, talebearing, and swearing falsely, to name a few). These all come into the category of sin known as "lashon ha-ra" (lit: the evil tongue), which is considered a very serious sin in Judaism.

The concluding service of Yom Kippur, known as Ne'ilah, is one unique to the day. It usually runs about 1 hour long. The ark (a cabinet where the scrolls of the Torah are kept) is kept open throughout this service, thus you must stand throughout the service. There is a tone of desperation in the prayers of this service. The service is sometimes referred to as the closing of the gates; think of it as the "last chance" to get in a good word before the holiday ends. The service ends with a very long blast of the shofar. See Rosh Hashanah for more about the shofar and its characteristic blasts.

After Yom Kippur, one should begin preparing for the next holiday, Sukkot, which begins five days later.

Limitations seem part and parcel of the human condition. But are limitations inborn? Or is it something we learn?

"Every man's enemy is under his own ribs -- i.e. his own desires." (Chovot HaLavovot)
Why is it that some people, of seemingly no extraordinary talent, achieve way beyond that of their peers? Einsteins and Edisons are born out of systems that once declared them failures. What skills did they possess which allowed them to achieve so much?

We need only look inside ourselves to see that in the "modern" educational system, it is often not so much what you learn that makes for such greatness, but rather, what you don't learn.

"There is one weapon which disables the mightiest of warriors and makes waste a hitherto invincible army. When "I can't" is whispered ever so quietly from the heart of the bravest of men, the smallest mouse might as well be the most fortified tank, for against neither will this soldier do battle."

LEARNING LIMITATIONS
A child's first breath is as much a miracle for us and no less for the baby. After nine months, oxygen, which previously flowed through the fetus' veins from the mother's own blood, now has to be processed by an untested lung -- an organ needing such precision and systems coordination that it would test the skills of a NASA technician.

The child does not think, "This is an impossible world, how can my lungs possibly process the oxygen I need?" Rather, it is unaware of any limitations, and knows not the pain of failure. Ridicule and defeat are not part of the infant's vocabulary.

Is a lung practical? Is the act of walking practical in a world where things do not stand on less than three legs? Everything for this child is possible, everything it will try.

Limitations are something it will learn.
All things have a good and a bad, a positive and a negative. Limitations similarly have these two aspects. It is sometimes important to realize one's limitations. But how much more do we tend to adopt the negative part of limitations. Imagine for a moment if Alexander Graham Bell had said, "You have to be practical." Where would the world be today!? Imagine if the unborn child could fathom the intricacies necessary to breathe, it would give up before even trying!

As children grow up, they learn apathy. Or to be more accurate, adults teach them.

WHO ARE WE?
How depressing a thought that we may be locked into some definition of who we are. But whose definition are we locked into? Surely it is only our own. The agility of our tongues to say a myriad of "I can't's" has destroyed our ability to dream. We are so clear and definite on what is and what is not possible, that we have become predictable. There is no spontaneity left in us. We have lost the spark in our living.

As we go through life, we remember our failures and hold on to them dearly. We analyze them, and deduce further what we can't do. This becomes our lifetime baggage. Our mistakes shape our character and our personality by dulling our goals and dreams.

If we could just stop saying, "I can't," a new world would open up.

Try taking "I can't" out of your vocabulary. Be serious about it. Every time you say "I can't," give 10 dollars to charity.

THE ANNUAL OPPORTUNITY
Yom Kippur is about stopping the "I can'ts" and becoming an "I can" person. It is the day when we cast away the mistakes that define our limitations. On Yom Kippur, we affirm: "These mistakes are not me. It was merely a temporary lapse in judgement. I won't do it again. I can achieve greater and bigger. I only have to try."
King David tells us: "[God] opens His hand and gives to all those who want" (Psalm 145:16). In truth, we can do whatever we want. The only condition is that we have to "want." If we don't want, then God cannot give.
In the secular world, dreams are for Mary Poppins and Snow White. They are laughed at, ridiculed and patronized. As we grow older, we categorize dreams as fantasy and fairy tales. The "real world," we are told, is far more brutal.

Yom Kippur is a time to return. A time to dream again the wildest of dreams, and to plan their execution. A time to rethink and regain our refreshing hope in life.

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER
Question 1: If you were born today with no concept of failure, what would you attempt to achieve?
Question 2: When was the last time you developed a major new life dream? Do you spend time thinking about new dreams?
Question 3: What have been your biggest dreams and life goals? How do you continue to nurture and pursue those dreams now?

It's the holiest day of the Jewish year. Might as well know what we're doing and get it right!

ANGEL FOR A DAY
What are "angels?" Angels are completely spiritual beings, whose sole focus is to serve their Creator.
On Yom Kippur, every Jew becomes like an angel. As the Maharal of Prague explains:

"All of the mitzvot that God commanded us on [Yom Kippur] are designed to remove, as much as possible, a person's relationship to physicality, until he is completely like an angel."

Just as angels (so to speak) stand upright, so too we spend most of Yom Kippur standing in the synagogue. And just as angels (so to speak) wear white, so too we are accustomed to wear white on Yom Kippur. Just as angels do not eat or drink, so too, we do not eat or drink.

FIVE ASPECTS
There are five areas of physical involvement which we remove ourselves from on Yom Kippur. They are:

Throughout the year, many people spend their days focusing on almost nothing else besides food, sex, work, superficial material possessions (symbolized by shoes) and superficial pleasures (symbolized by anointing). On Yom Kippur, we restore our priorities to what really counts in life.

As Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes:

"On Yom Kippur, the power of the evil inclination is muted. Therefore, one's yearning for spiritual elevation reasserts itself, after having lain dormant as a result of sin's deadening effect on the soul. This rejuvenation of purpose entitles a person to special consideration and forgiveness."

TESHUVA AND FORGIVENESS
Following the Golden Calf, Moses pleaded with God to forgive the people. Finally on Yom Kippur, atonement was achieved and Moses brought the second set of Tablets down from Mount Sinai.

From that day forward, every Yom Kippur has carried with it a special power to cleanse the mistakes of Jews (both individually and collectively) and to wipe the slate clean.

Though while Yom Kippur atones for transgressions against God, this does not include wrongs committed against other human beings. It is therefore the universal Jewish custom – some time before Yom Kippur -- to apologize and seek forgiveness from any friends, relative, or acquaintances whom we may have harmed or insulted over the past year.

THE FAST ITSELF
The Yom Kippur fast begins at sundown, and extends 25 hours until the following nightfall.

The afternoon before Yom Kippur, it is a special mitzvah to eat a festive meal.

As far as making your fast easier in general, try to pace your intake throughout the previous day by eating something every two hours. At the festive meal itself, eat a moderate portion of food so as not to speed up the digestion process. Also, don't drink any coffee or coke, because caffeine is a diuretic. Heavy coffee drinkers can also avoid the dreaded headache by slowly reducing the amount of coffee consumption over the week leading up to Yom Kippur.

After a meal we generally get thirstier, so when you complete the festive meal, leave some extra time before sundown to drink. Also, drinking lukewarm water with some sugar in it can help make you less thirsty during the fast.

IN CASE OF ILLNESS
If someone is ill, and a doctor is of the opinion that fasting might pose a life-danger, then the patient should eat or drink small amounts.

The patient should try to eat only about 60 cc., and wait nine minutes before eating again. Once nine minutes have passed, he can eat this small amount again, and so on throughout the day.

With drinking, he should try to drink less than what the Talmud calls "melo lugmav" -- the amount that would fill a person's puffed-out cheek. While this amount will vary from person to person, it is approximately 80 cc., and he should wait nine minutes before drinking again.

How does consuming small amounts make a difference? In Jewish law, an act of "eating" is defined as "consuming a certain quantity within a certain period of time." Otherwise, it's not eating, it's "nibbling" -- which although it's also prohibited on Yom Kippur, there is room to be lenient when one's health is at stake.
The reason for all these technicalities is because eating on Yom Kippur is regarded as one of the most serious prohibitions in the Torah. So while there are leniencies in certain situations, we still try to minimize it.

Note that eating and drinking are treated as independent acts, meaning that the patient can eat and drink together during those nine minutes, and the amounts are not combined.

Having said all this, if these small amounts prove insufficient, the patient may even eat and drink regularly. In such a case, a person does not say Kiddush before eating, but does recite "Grace After Meals," inserting the "ya'aleh veyavo" paragraph.

Now what about a case where the patient's opinion conflicts with that of the doctor? If the patient is certain he needs to eat to prevent a danger to health, then we rely on his word, even if the doctor disagrees. And in the opposite scenario -- if the patient refuses to eat despite doctors' warnings -- then we persuade the patient to eat, since it is possible that his judgment is impaired due to illness.

Wishing you an easy fast and a meaningful Yom Kippur!

Repentance is predicated on wanting to stop the transgression. To achieve this, we must first analyze the dynamics of transgression. How does it happen?

There are four stages in the process of transgression:

To illustrate, let's use the example of someone trying to stop smoking. The scene is a man sitting by his desk at the office doing work. He has a history of addiction to cigarettes and has been trying to stop smoking, unsuccessfully, for three months. Let's observe him and see what happens...

DORMANT
At first the urge for a cigarette is DORMANT. It can be activated at any time but at this point the craving for a cigarette is nothing more than potential energy.

ACTIVE
The door to our smoker's office is opened briefly by a co-worker and a wisp of a cigarette passing in the hallway floats invitingly through the opened door and seductively over to the our friend's nostrils. He now begins to think of having a cigarette. The passion has become ACTIVE.

However, he does not smoke in his office and cannot go at the present time to the smokers' lounge set aside down the hallway. He continues working...

Our friend gets up to use the restroom. He's thinking about a cigarette now but the urge is not out of control.

SITUATION
After leaving the restroom he can either turn right and head back to his desk or head left to the smoking lounge. He makes a fateful left turn, (to supposedly speak to a friend) and finds himself moving quickly almost out of control into a SITUATION. In this case the smoking lounge.

The situation is where the transgression can be repeated and where the urge to transgress increases in intensity to unbearable degrees.

TRANSGRESSION
He enters the smokers' lounge and is immediately offered free cigarettes by all his friends. The smell of the freshly ground coffee mixed with tobacco smoke drives his passion for a cigarette into uncontrollable proportions, and before he knows it he is inhaling deeply a robust blend of tar, nicotine and carbon monoxide, wondering if he is ever going to "kick the habit."

Now I ask you the following question:

At what point did our friend lose the battle?

It was not in the smokers' lounge. It was when he turned left instead of right after leaving the restroom. Because even though at that point his forbidden desire was ACTIVE, he could not have fulfilled it because he did not have a SITUATION that afforded him the opportunity to smoke.

What we see from this story is that there are times when our behavior is still in our own hands. And although we may crave that which is forbidden, if we can keep ourselves away from SITUATIONS that afford us the chance to slip into the negative behavior, then we will be spared the transgression.

Not only that, but the urge to transgress, although it may be strong, usually does not reach uncontrollable proportions (impassioned frenzy?) until we are in a SITUATION.

As you can see from the story above, it is difficult to avoid the second stage when our desire becomes ACTIVE, since we live in a world with so much stimuli. But it is rare that a person is placed in a SITUATION against their will. Therefore, the key to overcoming transgression is keeping out of SITUATIONS.

Because of what we have just mentioned, part of breaking the pattern of transgression is to know when and where the transgression is usually performed.

That way, one can avoid situations that make the transgression possible. This is not a cop-out, an escape. Rather it is an effective strategy.

The ultimate goal is that once you are stronger, you can indeed re-enter that same situation -- and not stumble this time.

That is what we call "complete teshuva." That's heroic.

PERSONALLY SPEAKING
You now have to ask yourself three key questions:
Question 1: WHAT? What do you want to change?
Question 2: WHERE? In what location(s) are you most prone to committing this negative act?
Question 3: HOW? How are you going to avoid getting into this potentially negative situation the next time it arises?

GETTING UP AGAIN
Our sages teach us that the difference between a righteous person and a non-righteous person is not "that one makes mistakes and one does not."

Rather, the difference is that the righteous person makes mistakes and refuses to give up. While the non-righteous person gives up after he makes a mistake.

A righteous person can be compared to a baby learning to walk. The baby takes a few steps forward and falls down, only to get up and keep moving again. Imagine if the baby would give up after the first few knocks! He would never learn how to walk!

When we set out to do teshuva, we must know that it is a process that takes time. If you are not getting where you want to be, don't get discouraged!

God knew right from the start that humanity would make mistakes.
Indeed, King Solomon, one of the wisest men of all time, wrote: "There is no righteous person on the land who does good and does not sin" (Ecclesiastes 7:20).
Even if we fail to achieve the desired results, the very fact that we are trying to change is beloved by God.
So when you fall down, remember: It is an essential stepping stone to your eventual success.

Skip the paralyzing guilt. The classical confession, repeated five times during the prayer service, helps us do the inner work to maximize the power of the day.

There once was a draught in the land of Israel. The sages pleaded with God for mercy, but their prayers went unanswered in spite of their sincerity. Finally, Rabbi Akiva prayed, addressing God as Avinu Malkenu, our Father, our King. It was then that rain began to fall, nourishing the parched earth.

Rabbi Akiva's words opened the hearts and souls of not only that generation but also many future ones. We learned to see God not only as a monarch, but also as a loving parent.

One of the most distinct characteristics of a parent/child relationship is its unconditionality. Parents and children may feel alienated, but they can never cease to be linked. On Yom Kippur the opportunity to re-experience God's love for us is greater than it is at any other time. What that means is that God makes it possible to break down the most resilient barrier that we can erect separating us from our Father -- the barrier of sin.

The word "sin" has a terrible reputation. It is associated with paralyzing guilt that reduces our souls to dust. In fact, there are three words in Hebrew that describe "sin" which is really a failure of honest self-expression:

One is chet, which literally means missing the mark.

The second is avon, which means desire.

The third is pesha, which means rebellion.

When we take responsibility for our actions and for the direction that our lives have taken, (even when our decisions were colored by other people or external factors), we can begin to move forward. As long as we deny where we stand today, we will find that we are still there tomorrow.

There is one major obstacle to self-change. The past cannot be re-lived. The patterns that we have allowed ourselves to develop are extremely difficult to break.

How many times do we find ourselves trapped by the insidious, invisible automatic pilot. What frees us from the burden of self-imposed rigidity is God Himself. He is willing to reverse the laws of cause and effect in order to liberate us from ourselves. The one condition that is required is that we take responsibility for our choices, and regret the damage that we have done.

The classical confession is the means that we use to do this. It is said five times on Yom Kippur during each of the silent standing prayers, the "Amidah". Rather than ending our silent devotion by beseeching God to grant us peace, we add the confession before concluding.

By studying this confession, we can do the inner work to maximize the power of the day. Let us look at it carefully.

THE CONFESSION
ASHAMNU: We have become desolate.
We commit ourselves to recognizing that our failures are self-destructive.

BAGADNU: We have betrayed our potential, our families, God Himself.
We can question who we have been in our multifaceted role as a human being and as a Jew? Who have we betrayed? Is it not ultimately ourselves as well as others?

GAZALNU: We have stolen.
This includes not only financial theft, but theft of time, and misleading others into thinking that we are more accomplished than we actually are. This sin is especially damaging in that it reflects the fact that we have rejected the role in life that God has given us.

DEBARNU DOFI: We have spoken with "two mouths" -- we have been hypocritical.
We can confront our fear of rejection, and the dishonesty that we use to "cover ourselves." Who are we afraid of? Why? Should we not be more willing to tackle the reality that confronts us?

HEYVINU: We have made things crooked.
This includes all forms of dishonest rationalizations. Our hunger for decency sometimes is satiable through false justifications. We must remember that even a murderer invariably justifies himself at the time he commits the crime. We must rise above the false self-pity that at times lets us slip into situational ethics.

VIHIRSHANU: And we have made others wicked.
We have forced others into destructive responses. An example of this is a parent who slaps the face of an older child, almost forcing him into loss of verbal (and possibly even physical) self-control.

ZADNU: We have sinned intentionally.
The classical example is lying, in which case there is always full awareness of the factuality of the sin. How could we learn to bring God back into our consciousness when we are blinded by stress and fear?

CHAMASNU: We have been violent.
This includes all forms of taking the law in one's own hands. Almost everyone has fallen into the trap of letting the ends justify the means.

TAFALNU SHEKER: We have become desensitized to dishonesty.
Dishonesty feels "normal" to us. When we live in a time and place where lying is "normal," we can endeavor to envision our spiritual heroes in our shoes.

YATZNU RA: We have given bad advice.
This often is the result of being ashamed to admit ignorance. One of the most beautiful aspects of taking counsel from the Torah sages is their refreshing ability to use the words "I don't know." Committing ourselves to re-introduce this phrase can be life-changing.

KIZAVNU: We have disappointed God, ourselves and others by not living up to our promises.
We tell people that we can be counted upon, when we really mean that we can be counted upon if things work out. When they don't, it is important to ask one's self: Why is it that in situations where integrity and convenience can't coexist, it is always integrity that must be sacrificed?

LATZNU: We have been contemptuous.
We have diminished the importance of people and values that deserve respect. We all know at least one person who makes himself/herself "big" by devaluing others. If that person is ourselves, then we must question the direction that our need for self-esteem takes us.

MARADNU: We have rebelled.
We, in our bottomless insecurity, have found ourselves negatively proving ourselves endlessly both to God and to our fellow man. How many times this year could our lives been spiritually improved, if we didn't have to "teach" anyone a lesson?

NIATZNU: We have enraged people.
We have purposely pushed other people's buttons. We have caused God's anger to be awakened by our self-destructive behavior. We've let our desire for human connection lead us to destructive interactions.

SARARNU: We have turned aside.
We have confronted truth and looked the other way. We have chosen ease over morality.

AVINU: We fallen victim to our impulses.
Would our lives be improved if we learned to not only ask ourselves the question "what" but the question "when"? The desire for instant gratification has financial, physical and emotional implications.

PESHANU: We have broken standards of behavior that we know to be right and then justified this because of our egotism.
Have we not found ourselves justifying bad decisions with lie after lie? Have we not moved forward because to do so would mean tacitly admitting that our present level is not "perfect" enough to gratify our bottomless egos?

TZARARNU: We afflicted others.
Even in situations where harsh words are demanded, whenever we go beyond what is called for, we are accountable for the pain suffered by every unnecessary word. While we may be just letting off steam, our victims may believe every word that we say. The result can be a tragic diminishment of their self-esteem.

KISHINU OREF: We have been stiff-necked.
We have been stubborn and unwilling to redefine ourselves. No matter how wrong we are, we insist that we are right.

RISHANU: We have been wicked.
This includes all forms of physical aggression or financial injustice (such as refusal to repay a loan). When Moses saw his fellow Jew striking another Jew, he called him "rasha." He never used this phrase in any other context.

SHICHATNU: We have been immoral.
This includes all forms of dehumanizing "hunting" members of the opposite sex, or the equally dehumanizing choice of becoming "prey." Do we question why we select a specific image to be the one that we use to let the world know who we are?

TAINU: We have erred.
This, of course, is not a reference to sins that we have done because we weren't aware of better options. This refers to the choice to remain ignorant out of fear or laziness that inevitably leads to making further mistakes. This is a good time to make a solid, defined resolution to learn more. Let it replace the vague realization that time is slipping by.

TIATANU: We have misled others.
We have spread our ignorant assumptions and thereby victimized others.
The purpose of studying this list is not to wallow in guilt. It is to bring us to the point where we can honestly come before God and say, "This is who I was. Help me be who I want to be. Help me find my truest self."
His help is guaranteed. He is our Father, not only our King.

Everybody knows that New Year's resolutions are meant to be broken. But not in Judaism. The High Holidays are the best time of year for real, long-lasting change.

The Torah teaches us that it is never too late to change.

Changing for the better is called doing teshuva. The Hebrew word teshuva, which is often translated as repentance, actually means to "return." Return to God. Return to our pure self.

How do people become interested in self-improvement?

People have faults. The faults they have cause them to suffer in some way or another. This suffering limits an individuals freedom and is often painful. Hence, people want to change... to improve. To be free once again.
How does one change for the better? How does one do teshuva?

There are four steps of teshuva:
Regret. To regret what we have done wrong.
Leaving the negativity behind. To stop dwelling on the transgression in thought and action.
Verbalization. To verbally state the transgression

Resolution for the future. To be determined not to let the transgression happen again.
Now let's explain the four steps:

1) REGRET
What is regret and how is it different from guilt?
Well , we all know what guilt is. That uneasy queasy feeling that we have done something terribly wrong that can never be fixed...
But how is regret different?
Here is an example of regret:
An eccentric but wealthy, elderly acquaintance tells you to meet him at 2:30 pm on Sunday afternoon at Starbucks for coffee.
At 2:00 pm you are busy watching a great movie and decide not to show up to the 2:30 meeting.
That evening you find out that this elderly gentleman made the 2:30 appointment with 10 people, you being one of the 10.
Only five out of 10 arrived at the meeting. To each of the five who showed up, your eccentric acquaintance gave a bank check for $50,000 dollars.
Now you know what regret is. The feeling of missed opportunity.
When you find out that you missed out on 50 grand for a stupid movie, you feel regret, not guilt.
When we go against the will of God, the feeling we are supposed to have is regret. What a lost opportunity! We lost a piece of eternity!

2) LEAVING THE NEGATIVITY BEHIND
Imagine a drug addict who arrives at a rehab center for detox treatment. His parents leave him at the entrance and wish him luck after a tearful but hopeful goodbye. Little do they know that their addict son's suitcase is lined with enough cocaine to send a hippo to heaven.
It's not that our addict does not want to change. He really does! He just has not "let go" of the very things that have brought him to the negative state he is now in.
Did you ever learn bad habits from a particular roommate and decide that you want to stop being like that? Did you ever try doing it without changing roommates? It's nearly impossible.
"Leaving the negativity behind" means staying away from all of the paths that lead to that negativity. This includes crafting your environment to prevent temptation. And it means staying away from even mere thoughts, which can lead to the obvious next step -- action.

3) VERBALIZATION
Why is it important to say it?
There is a power to saying things as opposed to just thinking about them. Verbalizing a thought brings the idea to a new level of reality, awareness and understanding.
The verbalization that is done after committing a transgression makes one more fully aware of what was done. It therefore heightens the regret and strengthens the resolution not to commit the act again.
This verbalization is not to be done before anyone other than God. Not even your rabbi needs to know about what you have done. It's just between you and your Creator.

4) RESOLUTION FOR THE FUTURE
Make a firm decision not to repeat the negative behavior.
This step can be compared to stepping on the gas! Once you make this resolution, you're really starting to move! Every minute that passes puts miles behind you and the negativity.
You're on your way to becoming the "new you!"

God is our Father in Heaven and the King of the Universe. Connecting to that source is the yearning of every human being.

A parable is told about a young prince. He was kidnapped from the palace and was raised as a peasant laboring in the field -- far away from the glory and riches of the king's house. The king sent emissaries throughout the kingdom to find the prince, and finally, after many years, he was located.

When the king heard the news, he sent messengers right away to bring his son to the palace. The prince was reluctant to go -- he knew nothing of being the son of the king. The son, who had never seen anything more than a village hut, did not even know what a "palace" was!

But the king's messengers were persistent. They gave the son a set of clothes befitting of a prince, put him on a horse, and rode him towards the capital.

When the prince got to the palace, he was struck with fear. Everything seemed so immense and imposing. He didn't know what to do in a palace. He thought, "I'm a stranger here. This can't be mine. Is the king going to want to have anything to do with me?"

The messengers brought him to a door and told him that inside this room sits the king. The boy was scared. How would the king receive him?

The doors opened slowly. The boy saw the king, the most powerful man in the kingdom, by whose word vast numbers lived and died. He trembled with fear. He couldn't approach. And then, the boy realized -- it's not the king, it's my father! They fell into each other's arms.

PARABLE EXPLAINED
This is Yom Kippur. From the first of Elul, a month before Rosh Hashana, we begin our journey to see the King. On Rosh Hashana, we're in the palace of the King -- scared, standing in judgment before Him.

On Yom Kippur, we're His children.

Living in the modern world, it's hard for us to relate to loving a benevolent king. The kings we think of are monster dictators -- the target of revolutions to overthrow the king!

The Jewish concept of a king is different. The king of Israel has his power limited by the Torah: He may not amass excessive personal wealth, and he must carry a small copy of the Torah with him at all times to remind him of his obligations. The Israelite king was required to go into the actual heat of battle and fight on the front lines with his people! A Jewish king has awesome power, but he uses it all as a servant of the people. He uses his power to ensure a society where people can live peacefully and develop their full potential.

HOLY LOVE
The Biblical "Song of Songs" is a love song between a man and a woman. Yet the Talmud calls it the "Holy of Holies" -- the most sacred biblical text. Why? Because love is really an expression of our deep desire for the ultimate unity: to connect with God.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, because your love is better than wine... Pull me after you, we will run, the King has brought me into His chambers, we will take joy and gladness in you, we remember your love more than wine, unswervingly they love you. (Song of Songs 1:2-4)

Consider a woman who received as a gift a beautiful diamond ring. She's ecstatic. Everywhere she goes, she shows people the ring -- a flawless diamond. Then one time she shows it to a jeweler. He looks at it with his magnifying glass and announces: "There's a flaw in it!"

She'll never show the ring to anyone again. She may never even wear it again. It's the same diamond, it looks beautiful -- but now she knows it's not a truly flawless diamond, it's not perfect.

So what? Why doesn't she just pretend it's perfect? No one but an expert jeweler will know! It's because she's longing for something in life that is real and perfect. If she knows it's not real, even if no one else does, she can't take pleasure in it.

So too, deep down, no human being wants to settle for anything less than the ultimate.

The Hebrew letters of the verse, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" (Song of Songs 6:3), spell out "Elul," the month leading up to Rosh Hashana. We long for God and He longs for us.

LONGING FOR MEANING
Now let's look at another situation. A man is working at the airport taking bags off the baggage carousel. It's boring, but it's a living. We could do it, if we had no alternative.

Imagine one day that the airport manager comes to this man and makes him an offer: "I'll triple your salary. The only condition is that from now on, when you take a bag off the carousel and put it on the floor, you have to then pick up the same bag and put it back on the carousel. Then take it off again. Then put it back on again..."
It's the same physical effort, and the salary is triple. But who could do such a job?

Why not? Because a human being longs for meaning. Working in the luggage department of an airport may be boring, but at least there is the satisfaction of accomplishment and helping people. If you take away that purpose, a human being can't stand it!

We long for what's real and what's meaningful. We long for God, the ultimate reality.

Yet sometimes we lose sight of what we want. We get distracted by other things. How many times have we been inspired by a book or a movie, and thought afterwards: "I want to be great, I want to really experience living." Sometimes we followed up on those resolutions, but most of the time we just forgot.

In Judaism, we call that a "mistake." The word for "sin" in Hebrew is chet, which literally means "mistake." Our biggest mistake is that we want to relate to God, be close to God.

But we forget.

GIVING UP
We know what it's like when we're challenged. It's so hard sometimes to summon the effort. We think: how can we do it, it's such a hassle. So what happens? We end up thinking God is far from us. He's a tough, stern God, He wants too much from us, He doesn't really love us. Then we deny His existence. We construct a layer of cynicism -- there's really no meaning, why bother struggling. Let's just go back to bed...

Consider the words of King Solomon:
I sleep, but my heart wakes. Hear, my beloved is knocking, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one...I have put off my coat how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how can I make them dirty? My beloved put his hand on the door, and my heart was thrilled for him. I rose up to open to my beloved, but my beloved had turned away and was gone. My soul failed when he spoke; I sought him, but I could not find him, I called him, but he did not answer...I make you swear, daughter of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved tell him that I am sick with love. (Song of Songs, 5:2-8)

BREAKING THROUGH
There is a true story of an Israeli boy sitting in the hospital waiting room while his mother was having a minor operation. Since he was religious, he was reciting Psalms, the holy words of King David which comfort and inspire us during difficult times.

In the same waiting room was a kibbutznik, an older man. The kibbutznik saw the boy saying Psalms and came over to him. "Why are you doing this? This religious stuff is old-fashioned. It can't possibly do any good!"
The boy asked him, "Why are you here at the hospital?" The kibbutznik answered, "I came to pick up the body of my son. He's having an operation, but the doctors say there's no chance."

A few minutes later, the doctors came out and announced to the kibbutznik: "It's a miracle. The operation was successful. Your son will live."

The kibbutznik stood on his feet and proclaimed in a loud voice: Shema Yisrael -- "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one."

What's the meaning of this story? What type of man attacks a boy for saying Psalms for his mother?
Only someone who desperately wants to do it himself, but can't. At a time when his son is dying, he wants to be back in touch with his God. But he's spent so many years denying His existence, on building his life on the principle that God is not there...

But God is not really far from us. Just like we're longing for God, He's longing for us.

SMALL, STILL VOICE
How do we connect to the Almighty in everyday life? If deep down we are all longing for God, how can we capture that feeling?

The Bible tells us about the prophet Elijah. The Jewish people were being influenced to worship the idol Baal, so Elijah set up a test. He gathered all the people together at Mount Carmel (in Northern Israel), where he set up one altar, and had the priests of the Baal set up another altar. Elijah declared that whichever offering would be consumed, then that would prove who is the true God.

A fire came down from heaven and burned the offering on Elijah's altar. All the people shouted out: "The Lord, He is God!" (We say this seven times at the end of the Yom Kippur service). Then the people -- angry for having been misled -- turned on the priests of Baal and killed them.

It was a big miracle, but it didn't work. The evil Queen Jezebel sent messengers to kill Elijah, and he had to run for his life. While Elijah was hiding, God appeared to him:

And behold, God passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke the rock in pieces before the Lord. But God was not in the wind. And after the wind -- an earthquake. But God was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake -- a fire. But God was not in the fire. And after the fire was a quiet voice... (1-Kings 19:11-12)

What was God trying to teach Elijah with the wind, the earthquake, the fire, and the quiet voice? It is that God talks to us with a quite voice of love. The pleasure we get when we're with someone we love, or when we do something meaningful, or witness the beauty of a sunset, or discover the depths of Torah --this is when God shows us that He is really with us.

The entire world is God's message of love to us. Yom Kippur is the time when we are most open to receive this message.

"Awesome" has entered the lexicon as a positive term. The High Holidays are also known as the "Days of Awe." They must be awesome!

Yom Kippur is the apex in the annual cycle of Jewish spiritual consciousness. Despite the day's huge potential, we manage to dread it because of the overtones of fear and suffering. In truth, however, Yom Kippur is a day of positive energy and uplift. Perhaps what this holiday needs is some better PR!

The goal of Yom Kippur is to achieve a cathartic refocusing of ourselves on what we really want out of life, with a renewed commitment to attain it.

In what situations do we find ourselves most keenly focused? Have you ever woken up and thought there was a burglar in the kitchen? Ever been confronted by a wild animal? Did you feel sleepy or have your mind on the office? No! You were 100 percent alive and alert!

That's the power of fear: total focus.

Although we resent fear, people artificially induce it by adventuring (mountain climbing and bungee jumping) or by simulating danger (suspense films and roller coasters.) Why? Because fear refocuses us on "feeling alive," which is one of the greatest emotional rushes possible.

The crazy thing is that we're already alive. We just allowed ourselves to forget that pleasure, and like most things, we only appreciate them once they are threatened or gone!

There is a flip side to this: the universal fear of "missing out." Remember the TV show where the contestant has three minutes to fill his shopping cart with anything in the store? Certainly he won't fill up with laundry soap or spend his time reading comics at the checkout stand. Why? Because he fears wasting the opportunity.

THE FEAR OF MISSING OUT
The emotion that is appropriate to feel on Yom Kippur is called yirah in Hebrew. This word is commonly translated as "fear," which is imprecise, in the same way that fear is an imprecise description of the emotions of a shopping spree or roller coaster.

Yirah really means some combination of thrill, awe, and fear. The root of yirah is related to the Hebrew word ra'ah which means to see or apprehend. To have yirah means to see and apprehend the reality of the situation. This is related to how the emotion of fear marshals the senses.

To illustrate, if our speed-shopper didn't feel yirah and decided to spend his time reading comics, it is clearly because he had not apprehended the magnitude of the opportunity. Certainly, with hindsight he will wish he'd taken things more seriously so as not to have missed out.

This also explains the extensive use of the Hebrew word Chet in the Yom Kippur liturgy. Chet is probably translated as "sin" in your prayer book, but it really means to "make a mistake." This makes sense in light of Judaism's view that our job is to take pleasure in this world. (Of course the pleasures we're referring to are far more exciting than grabbing a dozen T-bones in aisle 13!)

We too would be better off if we had yirah and appreciated the immense potential that life has to offer. That's our concept of a sin -- making a mistake in not using our opportunities properly. We should be very afraid that we are going to miss out! Because we only have about 70 years to grab as much as we can.

INTERNAL EXPANSION
The basic commandments of Yom Kippur involve abstaining from eating, marital relations, working, wearing leather shoes, and anointing the body with oils. This isn't to do G-d or anyone else any favors. Throughout the year, many people spend their days focusing on almost nothing else besides food, sex, work, superficial material possessions (symbolized by shoes) and superficial pleasures (symbolized by anointing.) In Judaism the pleasures of this world are encouraged and even mandated in their proper time and place.

However, we have to realize that nobody on their deathbed regrets having not eaten more ice cream, or not having spent more time at the office. He will regret not having spent more time with his loved-ones, not having used his time more productively, and not having made a more significant impact on the world.

Yet why should we wait until the opportunities of youth have passed us by to realize what's really important? For this reason, Yom Kippur is designed to be 24 hours of uninterrupted soul searching and internal expansion.
Life has so much more to offer than just the mundane. Yom Kippur is the time to step back from all of that and refocus on the big picture. It's an opportunity to gain a sense of yirah that we are missing out on life's most profound pleasures, and are settling for trifles and frivolities. Yom Kippur is the time to regret those mistakes and cleanse ourselves of them by refocusing our sights firmly on what we really want out of life.

Jewish spirituality isn't about sitting alone, depriving oneself on a mountaintop. It's about savouring each moment as sublime and pregnant with an infinite potential for meaning, pleasure, and growth. The key is to be a little bit afraid that if we don't try hard enough, we're going to miss out on a life full of incredible opportunities.

A prime feature of the Yom Kippur service is recitation of the 44 mistakes known as "Al Chet." That's a long list. What does it all really mean?

When one begins to look at the task of teshuva (repentance), it can be overwhelming. We've made so many mistakes this past year that it's hard to know where to begin! Clearly, if we don't have an excellent system for tackling this project, it will be very time consuming and draining.

In Judaism we say that if you can get to the root of the problem, you can eliminate it entirely. That is the goal of the "Al Chet" prayer that we say so many times during Yom Kippur services. The 44 statements comprising "Al Chet" are not a list of mistakes, but rather identify the roots of mistakes.

We'll examine the "Al Chet" prayer, one statement at a time. But remember: "Change" is a process that doesn't happen immediately. Don't try to conquer too many things at once; it may be too overwhelming. Instead, choose the areas that cut closest to the root of your problems. This will maximize your success in the Teshuva process.

1. For the mistakes we committed before You under duress and willingly.
How can we be held accountable for mistakes committed under duress?! The answer is that sometimes, we get into compromising situations because we are not careful. Many of these "accidents" can be avoided by setting limitations to avoid temptation.

Ask yourself:
Duress:

Did I put myself into compromising situations, and then when I got into trouble rationalize by saying it was "unavoidable" or "accidental?"

Have I tried making "fences" so that I won't transgress?

Have I considered setting up a penalty system as a deterrent against certain mistakes?

When I legitimately got into an unavoidable situation, did I stop to consider why God might want me to experience this particular challenge?

Willingly:
Did I make mistakes because I was lazy, or because my lower, animalistic urges were getting the better of me?

2. For the mistakes we committed before You through having a hard heart.
Hardening of the heart means that I closed myself off to deep, human emotions like compassion and caring. The newspapers and streets seem so filled with one tragic story after another, that I can become desensitized to the whole idea of human suffering.

Ask yourself:
Did I ignore the poor and the weak?

When I did give charity, was it done enthusiastically or begrudgingly?

Was I kind, compassionate and loving when my family and friends needed me to be?

Do I feel the pain of Jews who are assimilating, and of how that impacts the Jewish nation as a whole?

3. For the mistakes we committed before You without thinking (or without knowledge).
Every day, a Jew prays to God for the ability to think and reason. A clear mind is integral to our growth and development. If we're riding in a car and staring aimlessly out the window, then for those precious moments we are nothing more than zombies.

Ask yourself:
Do I carefully examine my society and surroundings, weighing out what is right and what is wrong?

Do I constantly review my major goals in life?

Do I strive for a constant awareness of the presence of God?

Is one of my goals in life to be a "thinking" individual?

4. For the mistakes we committed before You through things we blurted out with our lips.
A wise man once said, "You don't have to say everything you think." The Talmud says that when we speak, our lips and teeth should act as "gates," controlling whatever flows out.

Ask yourself:
Do I think before I speak?

Am I prone to thoughtless outbursts?

Do I make hasty promises that I am unlikely to fulfill?

5. For the mistake we committed before You in public and in private.
Ask yourself:

Public:
Did I do foolish or degrading things to attract attention or approval?

On the other hand, did I do good deeds in public, that I otherwise wouldn't have done -- simply so that others would see me?

Private:
Did I act privately in a way that I would be ashamed if anyone found out?

Did I consider how God is watching even in my most private moments?

Did I convince myself that because nobody sees me, the mistakes somehow don't count?

6. For the mistakes we committed before You through immorality.
When the Torah speaks of immorality, it usually refers to sexual immorality. Since sex is the strongest human drive (next to survival itself), it can therefore be used to achieve the greatest degree of holiness, or -- as we so often witness -- the greatest degree of debasement.

Ask yourself:
Did I speak or act in a way that lowered sexuality as a vehicle for spiritual connection?

Do I realize how sexual immorality reduces the spiritual potential of future, more holy unions?

7. For the mistakes we committed before You through harsh speech.
Speech is the unique human faculty, and is the way we build bridges between each other -- and through prayer, with God. That's why abuse of speech is considered one of the gravest mistakes possible.

Ask yourself:
Did I speak to anyone in a harsh and forceful manner?

Did I gossip?

Did I engage in idle chatter that wasted my time and that of others?

Did I seek opportunities to elevate others with an encouraging word?

8. For the mistakes we committed before You with knowledge and deceit.
As we know, knowledge is a powerful tool -- and a dangerous weapon when misused.

Ask yourself:
Did I use knowledge of a certain situation to deceive others?

Did I use knowledge to deceive myself -- i.e. did I rationalize away my bad actions?

Did I use knowledge to circumvent the spirit of the law?

Did I use knowledge to show off and impress others?

9. For the mistakes we committed before You through inner thoughts.
The Talmud says that "Bad thoughts are (in one way) even worse than bad deeds." This is because from a spiritual perspective, "thoughts" represent a higher dimension of human activity. ("Thoughts" are rooted in the spiritual world; "deeds" are rooted in the physical world.)

Ask yourself:
Did I think in a negative way about people, or wish bad upon them?

Did I fantasize about doing bad deeds?

10. For the mistakes we committed before You through wronging a friend.
"Friendship" is one of the highest forms of human activity. When we reach out and connect with others, we experience the unity of God's universe, and bring the world closer to perfection.

Ask yourself:
Did I strive to go out of my way to help friends, based on my commitment to be their friend?

Was I insensitive toward my friends' needs, or did I hurt their feelings?

Did I take advantage of someone who trusted me as a friend?

Have I made a conscious effort to learn how to be a better friend?

11. For the mistakes we committed before You through insincere confession.
On Yom Kippur when we say each line of the "Al Chet" prayer, we gently strike our heart -- as if to say that it was "passion and desire" that led to these mistakes. Do we really mean it?

Ask yourself:
Did I ever apologize without being sincere?

Have I committed myself to "change" without seriously following up?

12. For the mistakes we committed before You while gathering to do negative things.
Engaging in evil as a lone individual is bad enough. But just as the secular courts treat "conspiracy" more seriously, so too God despises the institutionalizing of bad habits.

Ask yourself:
Am I part of a regular group that discusses negative things?

Did I participate in a gathering that led to negative activities?

Am I careful to associate only with moral and ethical people?

13. For the mistakes we committed before You willfully and unintentionally.
Willfully:
Did I ever "act out" in a desire to demonstrate my independence from God?

Unintentionally:
Did I make mistakes out of carelessness? Could they have been avoided?

14. For the mistakes we committed before You by degrading parents and teachers.
Parents and teachers are our first authority figures in life, and by way of association they teach us how to be respectful toward God and His mitzvot. The breakdown of respect for parents and teachers corrodes the moral core of society.

Ask yourself:
Parents:
Do I sometimes think poorly of my parents?

Do I ever actually communicate a dislike toward them?

Do I make the effort to appreciate how much my parents have done for me?

If I were a parent, what would I want from my children? Am I giving that now to my parents?

Do I give special attention to the needs of the elderly?

Teachers:
Have I maximized opportunities to learn from rabbis and teachers?

Have I actively sought the guidance and counsel of wise people?

15. For the mistakes we committed before You by exercising power.
God apportions to everyone exactly what they need: whether wealth, intelligence, good fortune, etc. Only when we feel our position is independent of God do we seek to dominate others for our own advantage.

Ask yourself:
Did I take advantage of those who are weak -- either physically, economically or politically?

Did I manipulate or intimidate someone into doing something he'd really rather not have?

16. For the mistakes we committed before You through desecrating God's name.
As a "Light Unto the Nations," every Jew is a messenger of God in this world, responsible to project a positive image.

Ask yourself:
Did I ever act in a way that brought less honor and respect to God?

Did I ever act in way that gave a bad impression about what it means to be a Jew?

Did I take every opportunity to enlighten others about the beauty of Torah?

17. For the mistakes we committed before You with foolish speech.
People have a habit of talking for talking's sake. When we're bored, we may get on the phone, and "talk and talk and talk." Don't talk without a purpose. In any conversation ask yourself: "Is there any point to this conversation? Am I learning anything? Am I growing?" If you can't identify the point, there probably is none.

Ask yourself:
Did I waste time by talking about trivial things?

Do I seek to share words of Torah at every opportunity?

18. For the mistakes we committed before You with vulgar speech.
Did you ever find yourself in the middle of a distasteful joke? It can be insidious, but all of a sudden you find yourself dragged into a discussion that has taken a turn for the worse. Learn to switch tracks. Monitor your conversations, and when you notice them slipping off track, pull them back, gently and subtly.

Ask yourself:
Did I contaminate my mouth with vulgar speech?

Did I listen to vulgar speech or jokes?

Did I protest when I heard vulgar speech?

Do I always express myself in the most pleasant way possible?

19. For the mistakes we committed before You with the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination).
The Yetzer Hara is that little voice inside each of us that tries to convince us to pursue physical comfort, at the expense of greater spiritual pleasures.

Ask yourself:
Have I pursued my physical drives for their own sake -- without involving any spiritual dimension?

Do I resort to the excuse that "I couldn't help myself"?

Have I studied Torah techniques for channeling physical drives into holiness?

20. For the mistakes we committed before You against those who know, and those that do not know.

Ask yourself:
Have I wronged people behind their backs?

Have I wronged people to their faces?

21. For the mistakes we committed before You through bribery.
Bribery is most subversive because we are often not aware of how it affects our decisions. In the words of the Torah, bribery is "blinding."

Ask yourself:
Have I compromised my honesty and integrity because of money?

Have I compromised myself for the sake of honor and flattery?

Have I failed to do the right thing because I wanted approval?

22. For the mistakes we committed before You through denial and false promises.
The mark of a great person is a meticulous commitment to truth -- despite whatever hardships, embarrassment, or financial loss might be involved.

Ask yourself:
Have I lied to myself?

Have I lied to others?

Does my job ever involve having to lie?

Have I rationalized the acceptability of a "white lie?"

23. For the mistakes we committed before You through negative speech (Loshon Hara).
It is said that big people talk about ideas, medium people talk about places and things, and little people talk about people. Gossip causes quarrel and division amongst people -- and tears apart relationships, families, and even entire communities. As King Solomon said: "Life and death are in the hands of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21).

Ask yourself:
Do I enjoy gossip?

When I hear gossip, do I accept it as true, or do I reserve judgment?

Have I set aside time to study Jewish law on how to avoid Loshon Hara?

24. For the mistakes we committed before You through being scornful (or scoffing).

Ask yourself:
Did I mock and ridicule serious things?

Did I make fun of someone who I considered less intelligent or attractive?

Did I shrug off constructive criticism as meaningless?

25. For the mistakes we committed before You in business.
Integrity is the mark of every great person. The Talmud says that the first question a person is asked upon arriving in heaven is: "Did you deal honestly in business?"

Ask yourself:
Have I been scrupulously honest in all my financial transactions?

Was I harsh in trying to beat the competition, or did I seek ways for us both to thrive?

Have I chosen a career that gives me freedom to pursue my personal and spiritual goals as well?

When I was successful in business, did I show my appreciation to God for that success?

26. For the mistakes we committed before You with food and drink.
Eating is such an essential human activity, that the rabbis say all of a person's character traits are revealed at the dinner table.

Ask yourself:
Did I eat in order to gain energy to do mitzvot, or did I eat for the sake of the animalistic act alone?

What secondary activity did I do while eating? Did I read the paper and watch TV? Or did I engage in meaningful conversation?

Have I made every effort to eat kosher food?

Did I express gratitude to God for providing me with the food?

Did I overeat?

Did I eat unhealthy foods?

Did I waste food?

27. For the mistakes we committed before You through interest and extortion.
Gaining financial advantage because someone else is destitute shows poor character. That is why the Torah forbids loaning money to another Jew on interest.

Ask yourself:
Have I made a profit as a result of someone else's misfortune or downfall?

Am I greedy?

Am I stingy?

Do I feel responsible for helping to satisfy the needs of others?

Do I appreciate the Torah prohibition against charging interest -- and have I studied these laws?

28. For the mistakes we committed before You by being arrogant.
The trait the Torah uses to describe Moses is "the most humble man." Humility is a key to spiritual growth, because it allows us to make room in our life for other people - and for God.

Ask yourself:
Have I made others feel lowly in order to raise myself higher?

Do I dress and speak in a way that draws extra attention to myself?

When walking through a door, do I usually go first, or let others go first?

29. For the mistakes we committed before You with eye movements.
Sometimes we can harm others without even saying a word. For instance, the Talmud discusses the illegality of staring into someone else's home or yard.

Ask yourself:
Did I look at someone else's private things that were not my business?

Did I gawk at an accident scene on the freeway?

Did I look at the opposite gender in an inappropriate and disrespectful way?

Did I signal my disdain for another person by rolling my eyes?

30. For the mistakes we committed before You with endless babbling.
Often we feel uncomfortable with silence, so we fill the time with meaningless chatter. The Torah tells us, however, that more than anywhere, God is found in the sound of silence.

Ask yourself:
Do I participate in conversations with no meaningful content?

Do I think before speaking and measure my words carefully?

Am I careful to concentrate when reciting prayers and blessings?

31. For the mistakes we committed before You with haughty eyes.
The Talmud says that a person's eyes are the "window to the soul." An arrogant person is therefore referred to as having "haughty eyes."

Ask yourself:
Do I communicate warmth and care to people with my eyes?

Have I avoided interacting with certain people because I felt they were too unimportant for me?

Have my career and relationships suffered because my ego is over-inflated?

32. For the mistakes we committed before You with a strong forehead (brazenness).
The Talmud says there are three traits which characterize Jews: kindness, compassion, and shame. "Shameful" means feeling embarrassed and remorseful when doing something wrong.

Ask yourself:
Do I examine the moral consequences before making difficult decisions?

Do I appreciate how my moral behavior defines me as a human being?

Have I studied what Judaism says about conscience and morality?

33. For the mistakes we committed before You in throwing off the yoke (i.e. refusing to accept responsibility).
Judaism defines greatness as having a greater degree of responsibility. Deep down this is what every human being wants -- hence the excitement over a promotion or raising a family.

Ask yourself:
Have I accepted family responsibilities, and gladly assisted whenever needed?

Do I keep my commitments to friends?

Do I show up on time?

Would my colleagues describe me as "reliable and dependable?"

Have I taken responsibility for the problems in my community?

Have I accepted my unique responsibilities in this world as a Jew?

34. For the mistakes we committed before You in judgment.
The Torah tells us it is a mitzvah to be dan li-kaf zechus -- to judge people favorably. This means, for example, that when someone shows up an hour late, rather than assume they were irresponsible, I should rather try to get all the facts, and in the meantime, imagine that perhaps they were delayed by uncontrollable circumstances.

Ask yourself:
Am I in the habit of judging people favorably?

Do I wait to make any determination until I have all the information?

Do I sometimes judge God unfairly?

35. For the mistakes we committed before You in entrapping a friend.

Ask yourself:
Have I violated the trust of people who have confidence in me?

Have I divulged confidential information?

Have I taken advantage of family and friends by manipulating them into doing me favors?

36. For the mistakes we committed before You through jealousy (lit: "a begrudging eye").
Someone who has a "good eye" will sincerely celebrate the success of others, while someone with an "evil eye" will begrudge the success of others.

Ask yourself:
Do I experience resentment at the success of others? Or do I experience genuine joy?

Do I feel that others are undeserving of their success?

Do I secretly wish to have my neighbor's things for myself?

37. For the mistakes we committed before You through light-headedness.
Sometimes we can forget that life is serious. We're born, and we die. What have we made of our lives? Have we been focused on meaningful goals, or are we steeped in trivial pursuits?

Ask yourself:
Do I spend time reading unimportant sections of the newspaper, or listening to frivolity on the radio?

Do I spend time with friends and colleagues discussing inconsequential details of sports and entertainment?

Do I act with proper reverence when I'm in a synagogue or learning Torah?

Do I speak about Biblical personalities and our Jewish Sages with the proper respect?

38. For the mistakes we committed before You by being stiff-necked.
In the Torah, God refers to the Jewish people as "stiff-necked." This is a positive attribute in the sense that we are not easily swayed by fad and fashion. Yet on the negative side, we can also be unreasonably stubborn.

Ask yourself:
When I'm involved in a disagreement, am I frequently anxious and upset, rather than calm and rational?

Do I think that I'm always right? Do I usually let the other person speak first, or do I always want to speak first?

Do I listen attentively to the other side?

Have I been single-minded and lost my objectivity just because I really wanted something?

39. For the mistakes we committed before You by running to do evil.

Ask yourself:
When I transgressed the Torah, did I do so eagerly?

Did I run to do mitzvot with the same enthusiasm?

Did I slow down when reciting blessings and prayers?

After completing a certain obligation, do I run out as fast as possible?

40. For the mistakes we committed before You by telling people what others said about them.

Ask yourself:
Have I encouraged contention, and turned people against each other?

Did I reveal secrets?

Have I studied the Jewish laws prohibiting such speech?

41. For the mistakes we committed before You through vain oath taking.
One of the Ten Commandments is "not to take God's Name in vain." Integral to our relationship with God is the degree to which we show Him proper respect.

Ask yourself:
Have I been careful not to utter God's Name casually? (Or worse yet: "I swear to G--!”)

When I use God's Name in a blessing or prayer, do I concentrate on the deeper meaning of His Name?

Have I sworn or promised falsely while invoking God's Name?

42. For the mistakes we committed before You through baseless hatred.
The Talmud tells us that more than any other factor, hatred among Jews has been the cause of our long and bitter exile. Conversely, Jewish unity and true love between us is what will hasten our redemption.

Ask yourself:
Was I disrespectful toward Jews who are not exactly like me in practice or philosophy?

When I disagree with someone on an issue, have I let it degrade into a dislike for the person himself?

When I saw a fellow Jew do evil, did I hate only the deed, or did it extend into a hatred for the person himself?

When someone wronged me, was I eager to take revenge?

When someone wronged me, did I bear a grudge?

43. For the mistakes we committed before You in extending the hand.

Ask yourself:
Have I withheld from touching things that don't belong to me?

Have I stretched forth my hand to the poor and the needy?

Have I joined hands with wicked people?

Have I extended my hand to help in community projects?

44. For the mistakes we committed before You through confusion of the heart.
The Sages tell us that ultimately all mistakes stem from a confusion of the heart. This is why on Yom Kippur we tap our chest as we go through this list of "Al Chet's."

Ask yourself:
Have I not worked out issues because of laziness?

Have I made mistakes because I emotionally did not want to accept what I logically knew to be correct?

Have I properly developed my priorities and life goals?

Am I continually focused on them?

It is the holiest space in the Jewish world. It is also the holiest space inside each one of us. The Holy of Holies. Plunge the depths...

The goat will bear upon itself all their iniquities ... (Leviticus 16:22)

One of the most perplexing topics that we encounter in the Torah concerns the "scapegoat" -- the goat that was offered on Yom Kippur carrying on its back all the sins of the Jewish people.
Maimonides tells us that the "scapegoat":

...brings atonement on all the sins in the Torah, whether they be light or grave, whether the transgression was committed unintentionally or with deliberation, whether the sin is known to the perpetrator or whether it is not... (Laws of Teshuva 1:2)

And the Talmud adds:
This goat (sair) refers to Esau, as it is written: but my brother Esau is a hairy (soir) man. (Genesis 27:11) [The Hebrew words sair, "goat," and soir, "hairy" are spelled identically.]

[It is further written]: The goat will bear upon itself all their inequities (avonotam). In Hebrew this word avonotam can be split into two words: avonot tam, meaning "the inequities of the innocent." This is a reference to Jacob about whom it is written: Jacob was a wholesome (tam) man (Genesis 25:27). The word wholesome in Hebrew also being tam. (Midrash - Bereishit Raba 65:15)

Thus the goat represents Esau, and somehow he is made to carry the sins of the Jewish people, the descendants of Jacob. Is there any way we can bring this strange idea a bit closer?

THE WAYS OF ATONEMENT
At the very beginning of the Laws of Teshuva, Maimonides explains that teshuva requires confession, and he describes this confession as consisting of three elements:

An enumeration of the actual sin.

An expression of regret for having done the sin.

An expression of firm resolve never to do it again.

He then goes on to discuss Yom Kippur:
Yom Kippur, is a time of teshuva for everyone -- for the individual as well as the congregation. It marks the final stage of forgiveness and pardon for Israel, therefore, everyone is commanded to repent and confess on Yom Kippur... The confession that Israel has adopted to say on Yom Kippur is: "But we have sinned," and this is the essence of confession. (Laws of Teshuva 2:7-8)

It is perplexing to note that two of the three elements Maimonides himself earlier stated as essential requirements of confession are missing from the confession recited on Yom Kippur -- regret, and the undertaking never to repeat the sin. If this confession is the final act of teshuva adopted by Israel, how is it that the most important parts of this act of contrition are absent from it?

To be able to answer this question, it is important to understand the role that confession plays in teshuva. Jews do not confess to a priest who gives them absolution. The confession is done in private and is made directly to God. As teshuva is an act of the heart, what possible role does such a confession play in it?

The rationale of teshuva is change. A person's actions reflect his beliefs, his character and his personality. When he repents, he is making a statement: "I am not the same person today as the one who committed the sin. I have changed and such an act no longer expresses the person I am today. I look back at the person who committed the sin, and I no longer see myself in him or identify with that act."

When this is a sincere process, God accepts it and takes note of the change. Since the person has changed, and the sin no longer reflects his character and personality as they are today, it is impossible to hold the person of today morally responsible and liable for the acts of a person who no longer exists, and God duly pardons the sin.

A PROCESS OF CHANGE
As we humans are unable to see into a person's heart, and we can only see each other's deeds, we cannot take note of teshuva in human justice systems. Nevertheless we are able to relate to the principle -- if the sinner becomes a genuinely different person we can recognize the justice of excusing him from having to suffer the consequences of actions that do not reflect the character of the person he has become and who does not deserve to be punished.

In effect then, teshuva involves the shedding of old character. We are unable to alter our height, our IQ, or our age, but we can alter our character. When we repent we are changing our inner furniture, leaving only the outer shell intact.

The shedding of character is in effect externalizing what was, until then, the innermost core of our beings, our old operating system, the primary source of our past behavior and motivation. We shed these like a snake sloughs off his old skin and emerges with a brand new one.

To externalize the inner man requires speech. It is through speech that what is inside the heart and mind of a person becomes a part of the outer world. The verbalizing of teshuva in the form of confession is the act of shedding old thoughts and attitudes, rejecting them and making them part of the external world instead of our inner environment.

Change is difficult. We often regret our actions as soon as they are finished, but rarely do we succeed in really changing ourselves. Most often we repeat our mistakes and suffer the regret all over again each time we repeat the mistake. The resolution never to do this again is what generally defeats our sincere desire to be better than we are at present. This is where Yom Kippur comes in.

On Yom Kippur, the High Priest entered the Holy of Holies. This is a special environment, and enetering at the wrong time caused the deaths of Aaron's two sons:

And God said to Moses: "Speak to Aaron your brother - he shall not come at all times into the Sanctuary (the Holy of Holies) within the curtain, in front of the cover that is on the Ark, so that he should not die; for in a cloud will I appear on the Ark-cover. (Leviticus 16:2)

HOLY OF HOLIES
In order to understand the significance of entering the Holy of Holies, we have to understand how we ourselves are put together.

The human soul has five levels, of which the lower three are connected to our physical realities. At the core of our being we have a neshama which is always connected to God, to an extent that it is difficult to tell where the divine presence ends and the person begins. This neshama is connected to our ruach, our spiritual selves, which in turn is connected to our nefesh, the life force that burns within us and is the engine that drives us.

As the Holy of Holies in the Temple is the place that the Shechinah inhabits, the High Priest who enters this sanctuary on Yom Kippur, enters it on the level of neshama.

The point of life is self-definition. Were we aware of ourselves on the level of neshama , and were we conscious of our connection to God, the point of our lives would be quite clear to us. We wouldn't be at all confused as to why we exist and what we are supposed to do with our lives. But the point of life is to live with free will, and therefore such soul-consciousness is ordinarily withheld.

Instead, we are torn between our raging life force, our nefesh, and the awareness of our spirituality, our ruach , and this conflict creates within us a confusion as to who and what we are. This confusion is the source of our transgressions, and is the dilemma that forms the backdrop against which we exercise our free will.
Of the neshama, we are ordinarily totally oblivious. Thus, we are always engaged in the battle of self-definition, and we can never attain total resolution.

Stepping into the Holy of Holies eliminates the confusion and provides total clarity of vision as to the source of our being. But to enjoy such clarity runs contrary to the purpose of life in this world, and thus to enter the Holy of Holies is to step out of life as it must be lived in this world. When Aaron's two sons took this step, they terminated the point of their existence here.

And yet, such clarity is a necessary part of the existence of every Jew. We must be able to obtain an occasional glimpse at our origins, otherwise the accumulation of the errors of existence will move us steadily further and further away from our origins until the way back is so unclear that it is impossible to attain. That would also serve to eliminate the point of our existence, because when we totally lose the ability to find our way back to our origins we also lose our free will.

THE GIFT OF YOM KIPPUR
That is why God gave us Yom Kippur. On this one special day, God allowed us to step out of our ordinary selves and gave us a glimpse of our true connection to Him, and allowed our representative, the High Priest, to become self aware on the level of neshama. This allowed us to return to our origins, to temporarily resolve our conflicts, and to be able to push out the things separating us from God.

Now we can easily comprehend the difference between the confession of the penitent, and the confession we utter on Yom Kippur. In the confusion of ordinary life, when we are not self aware on the level of neshama, changing of character and self-definition is an extremely difficult process. To attain the levels of sincere regret and firm resolution never to return to past misdeeds -- the necessary concomitants of all character change -- are extremely arduous tasks. Therefore, teshuva is extremely difficult to attain, and the penitent must reach very lofty spiritual levels on the basis of his own efforts.

On Yom Kippur -- when we are offered a glimpse of our origins and the confusion of self-definition is largely eliminated -- the rejection of all our negatives becomes a matter of course. We are able to push out all our sinful activities as being truly unreflective of our true selves, because we are provided a glimpse of who we really are. Thus the confession of Yom Kippur is simply that we have sinned. We regret our inequities and can truly resolve never to return to them not through our own efforts, but through the clear vision of ourselves that the holiness of the day provides.

Isaac's twins, Jacob and Esau, attained this total clarity of self-definition on their own, through freedom of choice. Jacob defined himself as a neshama -- a wholesome man, totally consistent and whole and free of contradictions. Esau declared, "Look I am going to die," thus openly defining himself as a creature of this world only, a man of the field.

During the rest of the year we lose the clarity of vision that allows such sharp definition, but on Yom Kippur, this original distinction between Jacob and Esau reestablishes itself. This then is the secret behind the idea of the "scapegoat."

The loss of the Temple and the sacrifice of the "scapegoat" does not mean that we have entirely lost Yom Kippur. But as we inhabit a world of action rather than spirit, we are always hampered by an inability to translate our thoughts into deeds. Today, Yom Kippur still helps us to attain the spiritual level of true teshuva.

In the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, Yom Kippur had two unusual rituals in Jewish life: The entrance of the High Priest into the Holy of Holies, and the selection of twin goats. What's behind all this?

The objective of Yom Kippur is to bring about forgiveness for the entire people:

For on that day I will forgive you, to purify you from all your sins, in front of God you will become pure. (Leviticus 16:30)

Aside from the entire nation, special attention is given to the Sanctuary and the Kohanim, the priests:

He [the Kohen] shall atone for the Holy Sanctuary and for the Tent of the Meeting, and for the altar, he will atone; for the Kohanim and for the entire people of the congregations, he shall atone. (Leviticus 16:33)
Clearly, part of the service deals with improper behavior on the part of the Kohanim.

The Torah tells us that Aaron himself should not enter the inner sanctum at all times, only at the proper time, and in the proper sequence of worship. When Aaron's sons, Nadav and Avihu, entered the Sanctuary and approached God in a moment of ecstasy, Aaron is given very specific instructions on the manner and conditions for service.
God spoke to Moses: "Speak to your brother Aaron that he not come at all times into the Holy Sanctuary that is inside the curtain before the Ark cover that is on the Ark so that he not die, for in a cloud I shall appear on the Ark cover." (Leviticus 16:2)

The meaning is clear -- the line between service of God and self-styled service may be a thin one, but that line may be the difference between life and death.

UNDERSTANDING YOM KIPPUR
In order to understand this better -- and with it, the service of Yom Kippur -- we must draw a comparison with the actions of the sons of Aaron which led to their deaths.

The Shem MiShmuel suggested that the sin of Nadav and Avihu resulted from unbridled passion and love of God. This passion was generated by the events of the eighth day of the inauguration of the Tabernacle. The Talmud also tells us that this day was especially beloved for God:

It was taught, on that day there was as much joy in front of God as the day of creation of heaven and earth. (Talmud - Megillah 10b)

Reacting to the joy, and acting out of a feeling of ecstasy, Nadav and Avihu approached God in an improper manner and died as a result.

The seriousness and somberness of Yom Kippur stands in stark contrast to the ecstasy of Nadav and Avihu. And its message is clear: The pitfall of religious experience born of ecstasy is trying to create a relationship which is not wanted by God.

To act out of ecstasy alone is to make the experience a subjective and selfish one -- one desired by the worshiper but not by the object of worship. The end result may mean that the worshipper is crossing the line between creating a god in his image instead of manifesting the image of God within himself.

This does not mean that Judaism does not recognize that a sincere act of worship can come out of ecstatic experience. Indeed it can. We all desire a joyful relationship with God, but such a relationship can only be developed from a desire to please God in the manner He has taught us He wants to be pleased.

LOVE AND FEAR OF GOD
This is the balance between "love of God" and "fear of God" that the Sages speak of. Only after the Yom Kippur service in which we follow God's detailed instructions, may we find ourselves relating to God through love. In the days of the Temple, the Yom Kippur service concluded in a great outpouring of joy:

Rabban Shimon ben Gamiliel taught: There were not joyful days in Israel like the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur. (Mishnah Ta'anit 4:8)

The Sages tell of the streets of Jerusalem filled with well-wishers. The High Priest would not arrive home for hours after the services were complete. The greatest spectacle of celebration known as the Simchat Beit Hashoeva would follow Yom Kippur by a week.

It was said, he who never saw the Simchat Beit Hashoeva never saw joy in his life. (Mishnah Sukka 5:1)
The balance between fear of God (demonstrated by strict adherence to the details of observance) and joyous celebration of the love of God is highlighted by this festival.

Another -- perhaps the archetypal example -- of the ecstatic expression of love for God was demonstrated by King David (Samuel II 6:16), but David also possessed a profound sense of fear of God, as the Book of Psalms bears witness.

The ecstasy of Nadav and Avihu was missing this second most important balancing component. As a response to their behavior, therefore, we see the detailed instructions for the service of Yom Kippur.

The incense which they offered is replaced by the incense which Aaron is commanded to offer, and one error in the performance of this task could be fatal. The food and drink of the sons of Aaron is replaced by a day of complete abstinence from food and drink.

TWIN GOATS
Other details of the service of Yom Kippur also take on new meaning when seen in contrast to the actions of Nadav and Avihu. The central worship of the day involved two goats -- one offered in the Sanctuary, the other sent into the desert.

This practice would seem to be a response to the different types of worship -- in the Sanctuary, for God, and the other that had no place in the Sanctuary, or even among the living at all, sent to a place of desolation.

This worship is quite bizarre. Why would we take a goat simply to reject it and send it away? The law seems to teach us about the stark difference between service of God which is accepted and beloved by God, versus the "scapegoat" which represents that which has been rejected by God. Yet there is more:

The two goats on Yom Kippur; the mitzvah is for them to be identical in appearance, size, and value, the two shall be chosen together. (Talmud - Yoma 62a)

The Talmud teaches that these two goats should look identical -- like twins. This seems strange. Why would the goats need to be identical, especially when their purpose is so different?

The idea of twins -- twins who are opposites -- is a familiar theme in the Torah. The most famous twins in the Torah are, of course, Jacob and Esau. They were complete opposites, one good, the other evil. No one could ever confuse them. On the other hand, perhaps they did possess some similarities. Rashi (Genesis 25:27) tells us that until the age of 13 they were indistinguishable, as does the Midrash:

Esau was worthy to be called Jacob and Jacob was worthy to be called Esau. (Midrash Zuta Shir HaShirim 1:15)
They were so similar that at times their similarity caused confusion. One dressed as the other, one spoke like the other.

It is strange that the divine plan required twins? Perhaps just being siblings would have been enough? Evidently the Torah wanted these two, Jacob and Esau, to be almost the same. Perhaps their similarity represents the thin line between acceptable behavior and idolatry, between good an evil.

Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner noted this parallel, and suggested that when things look alike from the exterior, it is a sign that one must look within -- at the essence -- in order to discern the difference (Pachad Yitzchak, Purim, p.43).

The idea of the two goats is intrinsically related to the personalities of Jacob and Esau, identical on the outside but so different in terms of their essence. The reason that we need to offer the second goat -- the scapegoat -- is that so often we find ourselves dressing up like Esau instead of behaving like the Jacob/Israel that we are.

The origin of the two goats themselves may very well be found in that famous episode when Jacob is persuaded by his mother to dress up like his brother. Rebecca instructs him:

"Go now to the herd and bring me two good goats..." (Genesis 27:9)

The Midrash expands on this idea:
How do we know that it was in the merit of Jacob [that we take the two goats]? These are the goats that his mother referred to "Go now to the herd and bring me two good goats..." Why are they called "good"?

Rabbi Brechia said in the name of Rabbi Chelbo: "They are good for you and good for your children. They are good for you when you enter, and take the blessings from your father, and they are good for your children, when they soil themselves in sin all year round. Then they will bring these two goats, and offer them and be cleansed." (Pesikta Rabbati 47)

Jacob's entrance to his father may be paralleled with the once-yearly entrance of the Kohen Gadol , the High Priest, into the Holy of Holies. Jacob prepared for this appearance with the two goats, as his descendents would in the future.

A GOAT FOR AZAZEL
While we may now understand the symbolism of the two goats, we have not gained any insight into why the goat sent into the wilderness was called a goat "for Azazel."

Rabbi Menachem Azarya DeFano, in his work "Sefat Emet," explains that the name Azazel is an acronym for ze le'umat ze asa Elokim -- "God has made one as well as the other," as it says:

In the day of prosperity be joyful, in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other. (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

According to Rabbi DeFano, the contrast between good and evil, with the recognition that both emanate from God, is encapsulated by this verse. In explaining further, the Midrash makes a link that God made both Jacob and Esau (Pesikta D'Rav Kahana Chapter 28).

It is fascinating that the quintessential example brought to illustrate that both righteousness and evil are from God is none other than the case of Jacob and Esau. We understand from this that, in a sense, good needs evil in order to exist, if for no other reason than to have something to reject. It is the contrast with evil which allows good to shine.

Problems arise when man adopts the ways of evil, identifying with them instead of rejecting them. This path is a rejection of God and the image of God within us, as is illustrated by another detail of the Yom Kippur service: Lots were drawn to determine which of the two identical goats will be sacrificed in the Sanctuary and which will be for Azazel.

The idea of drawing lots is apparently a concession to the "random" element of human existence. And yet this attitude that life is randomly determined, rather than orchestrated by God, is considered evil and associated with the nation of Amalek, whom Israel was commanded to obliterate from the face of the earth.

Remember what was done to you by Amalek on the way as you left Egypt. When they happened upon you... (Deut. 25:17-18)

Rashi explains "they happened upon you" as "by coincidence." In his brief comment, we can discern the difference between Judaism and the philosophy of Amalek. We believe in a God who is involved in history, while for Amalek life is no more than a series of coincidences. Haman, one of the most famous descendants of Amalek, used lots to determine the best day to attack and destroy the Jews. The Jews, in response, turned to God and put their faith in His involvement in history (and were saved). Similarly, Moses lifted his hands heavenward in prayer while the battle against Amalek raged around him, signaling to the Jews that faith in God is the only ammunition against Amalek.

When the Jew has sinned and has begun to act like Esau, forgetting God Who is constantly involved in history, God invites him to enter the Sanctuary, represented by the High Priest.

The drawing of the lots forces us to examine our behavior and the underlying philosophy of chance or coincidence. The breeding ground for sin is in this forgetfulness. Therefore, on Yom Kippur, nothing can be forgotten, every detail is important.

Every detail is recognition of God's involvement in our lives. The day is filled with awe and fear, a fear which can only spring from the understanding that God is intimately involved in our lives. This fear, in turn, gives birth to the joy which can only spring from the understanding that the same God whom we fear is the God of forgiveness and unlimited love.

The 10 days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are part of the High Holidays, too. Chickens: read no further.

The period between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are called the Ten Days of Teshuva (Repentance).

On Rosh Hashana, the righteous and the wicked receive their judgment. One should not see himself as wicked or be so presumptuous as to consider himself righteous. Therefore we have 10 days to improve and tip the scales to the side of righteousness. Yom Kippur is the culmination of this period.

During the Ten Days of Teshuva, Jews engage in intense introspection for the purpose of self-improvement. We become more scrupulous in the observance of mitzvot.

THE CUSTOM OF KAPAROT
If God ruled the world by strict justice, then every time a person would do something purposely wrong, a giant 100-ton weight would fall from the sky and squash him. Fortunately for us, God also rules by mercy and allows us to gain atonement.

One of the methods of atonement is through the ritual of Kaparot. This is done by taking a chicken, or money, and waving it around your head three times. The chicken is then slaughtered and given to charity (as is the money if used in place of the chicken).

The point of using a chicken is to show us the volatility of life. One minute the chicken is alive the next minute it's not. And if God had ruled by strict justice, our lives might have gone as fast as the chicken's!

This will certainly help a person understand the severity of the Ten Days of Teshuva.

While swinging the chicken (or money) above your head, say:

"This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement. This rooster is going to die (or this money will go to charity), but I am going to a good long life and to peace."

The full text can be found in any siddur or Yom Kippur Machzor.

CHANGES IN THE PRAYERS
Havdallah is recited at the conclusion of Rosh Hashana, but only the blessing on wine and the final blessing.

If Rosh Hashana falls on Saturday night, "V'todianu" is added in the fourth blessing of the "Amidah."

The third of Tishrei, the day after Rosh Hashana, is a public fast day called Tzom Gedaliah. All the laws of the minor fast days apply. The fast begins at dawn and ends at nightfall.

There are several small but important changes in the daily prayers that should be noted.

These are the changes to be made in the "Amidah:"

In the first blessing, we add the sentence "Zachreinu l'chaim."

In the second blessing, we add the phrase "Mi chamocha."

In the third blessing, we conclude with "Hamelech Hakadosh," instead of the usual "Ha'El Hakadosh." If this is not done, the entire Amidah must be repeated. (The other additions do not require one to repeat the Amidah.)

In the 11th blessing, we conclude with "Hamelech Hamishpat," in place of "Melech Ohave Tzedekah U'mishpat."

In the 18th blessing ("Modim"), we add the sentence "U'ch'tov l'chaim."

In the final blessing ("Sim Shalom" or "Shalom Rav") we add the sentence "B'sefer chaim."

The prayer "Avinu Malkeinu" is said after the repetition of the "Amidah" in the morning and afternoon.
In the "Kaddish," we say "l'ailah u'l'ailah mikol," instead of the usual "l'ailah min kol."

The story of Jonah is read on Yom Kippur. In a certain sense it is very much the story of Yom Kippur's essence -- return to God. It teaches us about our voyage and ourselves.

Jonah was a prophet who lived in the first Temple period. His first mission was given to him by the most famous of first Temple prophets, Elijah -- he was to anoint Jehu as king in the year 705 BCE. His were stormy times; the Jewish people were trapped in a pattern of spiritual decline that ended with first the conquest and expulsion of the Ten Tribes by the Assyrians in 607 BCE, and finally with the destruction of Jerusalem, which was followed by 70 years of exile.

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As a prophet, Jonah knew far better than we can imagine what the inevitable end would be if no transformation would take place.

After the failure of his second mission, to rebuke Jehu's successor, Jeroboam the second, he was given his final mission.

The mission that God gave him was one that he could not open his heart to accept. He was sent to the capital of Assyria, Nineveh, to urge its population to repent. How bizarre the assignment sounded to him! His own people were falling uncontrollably into a chasm that seemed to have no bottom, yet he was sent to save others -- the archenemies of Israel!

Jonah actually dreaded success of this mission far more than he dreaded failure. How could he bear to witness the contrast of the Assyrians returning to God in the face of his prophecy, with the Jews stubbornly resisting any chance for spiritual self-preservation. Therefore, he attempted to escape from his destiny.

Jonah fled from Israel by ship to silence the voice of prophecy that can only be heard in the Holy Land. But a storm at sea forced him into the recognition that no one can escape from God. In the midst of calm waters, his boat was tossed in a tempest until it was on the verge of breaking. The sailors prayed to their gods.

Jonah went to sleep.

He knew the truth. It was he who had already cut himself off from God; there was nothing to say and nothing to pray for.

His apathetic behavior aroused the curiosity of the sailors. He told them his story. He believed in God, yet he was running away from Him.

Knowing he was the cause of the storm, he implored the sailors to toss him overboard so they could save themselves. As decent people they resisted this suggestion until the critical moment when it became clear that within seconds they would all die. At that point, they listened and threw him into the turbulent depths. The storm abated immediately. Jonah thought his story had ended.

CONFRONTING SELF
But it had just begun. He was swallowed by a whale, and miraculously survived. In the dark fetid innards of the whale, he recognized what he had never truly been willing to see, in his most exalted moments of prophecy, God's intimate knowledge and care over each life and each moment. He was a prophet and awareness of God was not a novelty to him. But recognition of the depths of God's mercy was.
It was then that Jonah did teshuva -- he repented, returning to God and the best in himself.
Now he recognized that no matter how painful the contrast between the Assyrians and the Jews would be to him, that God's motivation could only be one of mercy. Once he recognized this truth, he was willing to open the gates that he had closed so resolutely -- the gates of prayer. He was now ready for the most significant undertaking of his life.
The whale spit him out at the shores of Nineveh.
He told the residents of Nineveh what awaited them: In forty days they could either make radical changes in their lives, or the city would be destroyed by God's wrath.
The changes in Nineveh happened with speed and drama. The king himself led the people into a total reformation. Nineveh's destruction was postponed for 40 years.
Everything that Jonah had feared had come to pass. The contrast that he dreaded was more vivid in reality than it was as a prophecy. He had only one further request that he be spared of seeing the destruction of his own people, which he knew would come eventually and at the hands of the Assyrians at that. The fact that the Jews would not take example from Nineveh would be the final act of callousness that would seal their fate. God did not answer Jonah's request with words. He answered by deed.
After Jonah left Nineveh, he went to the outskirts and made himself a shelter in the shade of a kikayon tree. It was a source of consolation to him in his anguish, and made him aware of God's compassion. But God sent a worm to eat through the branches and kill the tree.
In response, all the pent up feelings of agony poured forth from Jonah's lips. God replied "You took pity on a kikayon for which you did not labor ... Shall I not take pity on Nineveh, that great city in which there are more than 120 thousand people who do not know their right hand from their left, and many beasts as well?"
In short, what God was telling Jonah is the flaws of the residents of Nineveh did not make them unworthy of life. Each person is part of the world's spiritual ecology, and brings benefit to the world at least as much as the kikayon plant brought benefit to Jonah.
GOD'S MERCY
Yalkut Shimoni, the most encyclopedic of all Midrashim (written by Rav Shimon Hadarshan in the thirteenth century) gives us deep insight into the most profound recognition of Jonah's life:
At that moment he fell on his face and said, "Rule your world according to the attribute of mercy" as it is written "to You, God, is mercy and forgiveness."
The message of Jonah's prophecy is one for each one of us. The Vilna Gaon tells us that Jonah's journey is one that we all make. We are born with a subconscious realization of the fact that we have a mission. We seek escape, because our mission is often one that we are afraid to attempt.
In the text of the Jonah story we are told that the places that he sought were Yaffo and Tarshish . While these places actually exist and are known as Jaffa and Tarsis, the literal meaning of the names of these cities are "beauty" and "wealth."
We comfort ourselves externally, by escaping from our inner knowledge of our mission through the pursuit of wealth, and by surrounding ourselves with beauty. Our bodies are compared to Jonah's ship. We face moments in life in which the fragility of our bodies is inescapable, as in when we face illness, or confront moments of danger that seem to last an eternity until they are resolved.
The sailors on the ship are the talents and capacities that work for us. They too cannot save us from our futile desire to escape ourselves. The whale is the symbol of ultimate confrontation of the recognition that our ultimate fate is the grave. For some, that recognition almost feels like a welcome refuge. For others, facing death forces them at last into pursuing life!
As with Jonah, our recognition of our own vulnerability can bring us to finally transcend our ego, surrendering our desire to control events, and beginning at last to accept our mission in life, no matter what it is.
We can suffer the vicissitudes of life, and recognize that we ourselves have caused the storms to toss us back and forth. We can move forward to fulfill our purpose, but we are still not free of conflict and anxiety until we finally recognize that every step along the way, we are embraced by Divine compassion.
It is then that we are ready to return to God. While for each of us the path is our own, and never yet explored by any other person, Jonah knew the beginning and the end of the journey that we all make.
Yom Kippur is the day in which each one of us can relive Jonah's journey. Let us finally move towards whatever the next step is for us in fulfilling the mission for which we were created. Let us use the time to return to God with joy and love.

Is Yom Kippur a day of atonement or a day of judgment? What is the meaning of this day on which decisions regarding life and death are finalized?
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For on this day he shall provide atonement for you to cleanse you; from all your sins before the Lord shall you be cleansed. (Leviticus 16:30)
A day of atonement and cleansing does not feel like a day of judgment. Yet we know that the final seal on a person's fate for the following year is stamped on Yom Kippur. It is the final day of the Days of Awe, which are all days of judgment. In what way does Yom Kippur differ from the rest? What is the meaning of this day of judgment, on which decisions regarding life and death are finalized, and which is considered a day of spiritual cleansing?
Nachmanides (Vayikra, 23,24) explains that the difference between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur is that Rosh Hashana is a day of judgment that is tempered with mercy, whereas Yom Kippur is a day of mercy that is tempered with judgment. We shall attempt in this essay to plumb the deeper meaning of these words.
Let us begin our search for the quality of this day with the Talmud.
Rabbi Ami taught: "The numerical value of the word haSatan, meaning 'the Satan' in Hebrew is 364 (heh=5, shin=300, tet=9, nun =50, for a total of 364)." Explains the Ran: "The days of the solar year are 365; there is one day where the Satan has no permission to do his thing; that day is Yom Kippur" (Nedarim, 32a).
Does this mean that man has no free will on Yom Kippur? Obviously not! The Torah itself outlines the consequences of failing to observe the fast of Yom Kippur or the prohibition against work; obviously people have the free will to do as they wish on Yom Kippur as on any other day. What significance does the Satan's day off have for us? And for that matter who is the Satan?
WHO IS SATAN?
Reish Lakish taught: "Satan, the Evil Inclination, and the Angel of Death are all one and the same" (Baba Basra, 16a).
Thus the negative force is subdivided into three parts:
it urges people to commit sins, (evil inclination);
it then prosecutes them for performing these sins in the heavenly court, (the Satan);
and finally carries out the sentence of death issued by the heavenly court as retribution for the commission of sins.
These negative phenomena are all elements that exist in the world as it is today. In the World to Come, there is no death. Just as there is no death, there is no Evil Inclination, and there is no sin and nothing to prosecute. Thus the entire personality of the Satan is one that exists only in our world. We all hope to experience the sphere of existence where the Satan will not be present at all.
This world has wars and tribulations. The Evil Inclination, the Satan, and the Angel of Death has power to rule in this world, but the World to Come has no tribulation or sighs or subjugation; it has no Evil Inclination, no Satan and no Angel of Death as it is written, "He will eliminate death forever and my Lord God will erase tears from all faces" (Isaiah, 25:8) (Ozer Midrashim, 146).
If the Satan has a day off on Yom Kippur, this means that Yom Kippur is really a day that belongs to the World to Come rather than this world. Indeed the Yom Kippur service attests to this in many ways. The one that is most germane to our topic is the following: The Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, called out the forbidden God's name in public 10 times on Yom Kippur. The significance of this is clear from the following passage of the Talmud.
"And God will become King over all the earth; on that day God will be One and His Name will be One" (Zechriah, 14:9). Is He not One today? Rabbi Acha bar Chanina said: "The World to Come is not like this world. In this world upon hearing good tidings one says, 'Blessed are you etc. Who is good and does good,' and upon hearing bad tidings one says, 'Blessed are you etc. the True Judge.' But in the World to Come all the blessings will be, 'Who is good and does good.'"
"And His name will be One" -- is His name not One today? Rabbi Nachman bar Yizchok said: "The World to Come is not like this world. In this world God's Name is written with the letters Y/H/V/H, whereas it is pronounced with the letters A/D/N/Y (spelling Adonay , meaning Lord or Master), but in the World to Come it will be all one. It will be both pronounced with the letters Y/H/V/H and written with the letters Y/H/V/H" (Pesachim 50a).
The Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur was referring to God by the name He has in the next world, not by the name He goes by in this one. The Satan has power in our world, and therefore God can only be described here as A/D/N/Y, the Lord and Master, whereas in the next world, where the negative force of the Satan does not exist, God is clearly the only Being.
Thus the first point about Yom Kippur is that it is a slice of time that belongs to the next world rather than this one. By fulfilling the commandments of the day Jews are elevated temporarily to the heady existence of the World to Come where there is no Satan.
13 ATTRIBUTES OF MERCY
The next point concerns the 13 Attributes of Mercy. One of the things we do on Yom Kippur in each of the prayers is recite the 13 Attributes of Mercy several times. The recitation begins each time with a special emphasis on the introductory phrase, which is repeated separately by the reader and the congregation each time the 13 Attributes of Mercy are recited, as though it was a significant phenomenon in and of itself, not merely an introduction to what follows: "God passed before him and proclaimed..." (Exodus 34:6).
Rabbi Yochanan said: "If this wouldn't be expressly written in the Torah, we would not even be allowed to think it. This teaches you that God wrapped Himself in a prayer shawl like the leader of the congregation (who is a messenger of the entire congregation) and showed Moses a method of prayer. He told him, "Whenever Israel sins, they should pray in this manner in front of Me, and I will forgive them" (Talmud, Rosh Hashana, 17b).
But what is so unthinkable about this? How does this differ from other matters that God taught Moses?
Jewish tradition offers the following interpretation. The difference between this world and the next is based on the manifestation of God that is present in each. God created this world and manifests Himself in it with His name Elohim. It is for this reason that the Divine Name Elohim is interpreted to refer to the Attribute of Justice. This world is a place where the Satan is also allowed to have power, where the fierce battle between good and evil is constantly raging, and where there is judgment.
In the World to Come, God manifests Himself under the name YHVH. In the World to Come, there is no evil, there is no battle with the Satan, and therefore no judgment.
Although we refer to the world in which the name YHVH reigns supreme as the World to Come, implying that it follows this one we live in now and will only come into being at some future time, this is actually a misnomer. This is true only from our point of view, for we must pass through the travail and battle of this world in order to get to that one. But from God's point of view that world comes first. It is closer to His Absolute Unity and in the process of creation when God assumed His mantle of Creator, He was manifest first as a single entity that is the sole source of all being, with no negative anti-force in existence. From God's point of view, the World to Come already exists.
HIDDEN LIGHT
Because He wanted man to work for his reward, He hid part of the brightness of the light shed by His Presence and made possible the existence of an anti-force in order to provide an arena for man's exercise of free will. From God's point of view, this sphere of revelation where the existence of an anti-force is possible, represents a second, lower level of existence. This is the separate world in which we live at present, where the holy name Elohim is the proper designation for the revelation of God's presence that is manifest.
As we have explained however, Yom Kippur is really a slice of time cut out of the World to Come. In order to achieve this, the manifestation of God in the next world must temporarily replace the manifestation of God in this one. There must be a divine presence that sheds such an overpowering light that the forces of the Satan are temporarily shut down.
On Yom Kippur ordinary reality is pushed out of the way. The divine presence usually present in our world that gives shape to our ordinary reality is intensified and brightened. Since the presence of the anti-force of the Satan is inversely proportional to the brightness and intensity of God's divine presence, as the light of God's presence intensifies, the presence of the Satan is diminished. The voice of the anti-force is turned down. The only voice that is heard throughout the world is the benign voice of the 13 Attributes of Mercy.
We now have made two points. Yom Kippur corresponds to a level of being that is really appropriate to the World to Come, and we access this level of being through our prayers by reciting the 13 Attributes of Mercy.
ROSH HASHANA VS. YOM KIPPUR
Let us now look at Nachmanides once again. We explained in the essay on Rosh Hashana that even though the judgment of Rosh Hashana involves the decisions that are made regarding a person's life in this world, these decisions are reached by determining his status in the next world. The basis of consideration on Rosh Hashana of a person's suitability for the next world is his performance in this world.
But this world is the one in which the Satan has a say. He is allowed to prosecute and state his case. The decision whether the person belongs in the next world can only be reached after giving full hearing to what the prosecution has to say, and being able to present an adequate defense.
Yom Kippur begins from the opposite direction. Suitability for the next world is judged in terms of the next world itself, where there is no Satan, and therefore no prosecution. There is no need to present a defense to establish suitability. Thus one is automatically judged suitable. This part is the mercy.
The judgment of Yom Kippur is a consideration of feasibility. On the assumption that a person is suitable for admission into the next world, is it feasible to help him attain entry there given the way he is in this world and given the fact that he has free will? Is it possible to provide him with a life in this world that will guide him into achieving entry to the next one?
The matters under consideration on both Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are identical. The difference is the starting point from which they are being considered.
On Rosh Hashana, which is a day of judgment mitigated by mercy, a person must establish his right to be present in the next world by answering the objections of the prosecution. One must pass through the dark corridors of justice before he can bask in the sunshine of mercy. On Yom Kippur one is armed with the benefit of the decisions of mercy before he is subjected to the harsh scrutiny of justice.
INTEGRATION OF THE SOUL
Let us attempt to bring these ideas down to earth a little more. Jewish tradition teaches us that a person has five levels to his soul. The three main ones are:
nefesh which is in his body,
the neshama which is the point where he is joined with God,
in between, there is the ruach which unites the nefesh with the neshama.
The neshama, which is with God, is in the next world already. The neshama is at the root of being, the nefesh at the furthest extremity.

As long as all the parts of his soul constitute a single integrity, no matter how porous such an integrity may be, a person stretches all the way to the next world. He is a single entity at all levels. He belongs in the World to Come in some fashion. What he needs to do is to straighten out the contradictions and inconsistencies between the various levels of his soul till they fit together in perfect harmony.

But what if he is a split personality, a spiritual schizophrenic?

His nefesh is so far away from expressing the personality of his neshama , that for all intents and purposes there is no correspondence between the two. As all the levels of the soul are fully alive in themselves even when considered independently of each other, such a person really breaks into two people. He is one person down here in this world, on the level of his nefesh, and a totally different person at the level of the neshama, which is with God in the World to Come.

Such being the case, he is treated by God as two separate people who have nothing to do with each other. The nefesh being of this world as it is in the body has one fate and the neshama another.

The commandments of Yom Kippur are two:
to refrain from any sort of work as on Shabbat, and
to fast (the rabbis extended the commandment to fast to include washing, wearing shoes and sexual intercourse).

The commandments of Yom Kippur are designed to demonstrate that our neshama and our nefesh are parts of a single integral unit that is inseparable. Our nefesh behaves in the same way as our neshama . It neither eats or drinks, or engages in intercourse or labor. It sits the entire Yom Kippur in the synagogue, engaged in prayer and basking in God's divine presence.

Integration of the soul is called teshuva, which means "to return" in Hebrew. Through teshuva we return to ourselves. As long as we are ourselves there is no need to return to God. We are already fully united with His presence.

A day of atonement can be a day of judgment after all. Atonement allows the various parts of the soul to integrate and return to each other once again. When we succeed in this endeavor, the united soul is automatically assured of being able to pass judgment.

Atonement, spiritual purity and judgment really do fit together very well.

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