Resolution
"My name is Mordecai Miller, and I am a 'food-a-holic!'"
With these words I addressed the congregation about six months ago in a d'var Torah .
I had reached a point where I was disgusted with the profile that greeted me every morning in my bathroom mirror. Clothes shopping - never a personal delight - had become a painful moment of truth. It had reached a point where it was difficult to find trouser sizes big enough to fit. (If the waist fit then the legs were too long!) I had observed this march towards three hundred pounds for most of my life. It had been tough enough to cross the two hundred pound threshold. I knew I didn't want to make it to three hundred and I was already well on my way to two hundred and sixty!
On the other hand I was well aware of the definition of a diet: "Short period of starvation preceding a gain of twenty pounds!"
- I had observed countless other individuals who appeared to succeed in losing weight for a brief period and then gained it all back on "maintenance".
- I considered "fad diets" injurious to a person's health.
Two conclusions appeared clear to me as I observed my own eating habits.
- The amount I ate at meals was too large. Conclusion: no more second helpings.
- Eating between meals from now on was going to have to be "verboten".
I shared the information with the congregation and proceeded to attempt to practice what I had preached.
The fact is, it worked - to a limited extent. I did drop about fifteen pounds. But I found that I simply could not get below the two-forties. "245" was the number that would inevitably greet me whenever I would get on the scale. Fortunately, fate or should I say, Susan, intervened - not directly, but the results would be the same.
In sum, she proposed to our daughter, Sarah, that the two of them attend Weight Watchers once Sarah's school year was over. In fact they started last June.
I had read about the program but had never been motivated to try it out. While my wife and daughter signed up and attended the meetings I decided to try to benefit from their experience. In fact, David and Micah, also decided to participate in the same way.
The results, so far, have been significant for all of us. But, more importantly, allow me to share some observations which, I believe, go beyond "dieting" per se. Remember, we're talking about a "life-change" here.
1. It all starts in your head. You have to be convinced in your own mind that you want to... no! you have to... take action. Nothing can or will happen without a conscious decision on your part.
2. It makes a tremendous difference when everyone around you shares the same objective. If it's possible to say such a thing, the whole project becomes a lot more fun! It becomes a topic of positive conversation. You receive - and give - encouragement. You aren't tempted to stray, because there are people around you facing the same challenge. For me, it became an important activity I could share with my family. ( I could go on and on.)
3. You actually feel better about yourself! Knowing that it is possible to conquer one's impulses gives you sense of well-being - of empowerment .
4. The nature of the program itself is - well - brilliant! Without sharing the details; on the one hand it doesn't prevent you from eating anything you want, but , it ultimately results in making you conscious and responsible for what you put in your mouth.
5. One detail more worth mentioning here: while you have a set number of daily points that you're entitled to, if you absolutely have to eat more you can legitimately do so up to 35 additional points per week. The point is, however, that being allowed to cheat makes it so much less tempting to actually do so!
So what does this have to do with Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?
The issue is, of course, t'shuvah - literally "return".
It's at this time of the year when our tradition ask us to turn our minds
and hearts towards evaluating our lives: to carefully examine ourselves
as truthfully as we can - and to make the important changes in the coming
year. The above observations hold in this regard as well.
1. "It starts in your head." You're the one who has to decide that you want... no! you have to... make a change in your life. It takes a conscious decision.
2. It's important to share these values with a supportive community.
3. Our Tradition seeks to help us overcome many of our self-destructive natural inclinations. The more successful we are at this, the happier we feel.
4. The nature of the program is... well... brilliant! Our literature (Bible, Midrash, Talmud, Post Biblical literature etc.) has such depth and beauty to it, but how do you find out unless you try it out!
5. Of many aspects, one that I love about our religion is that even while we try to perfect ourselves, is OK to be a human being... and there are ways to work out our guilt so that we can try to avoid going off the deep end.
May this be a year that our synagogue family can truly come together to "serve God" - to enrich our spiritual lives, to bring comfort to those in need and give us the eternal values that have helped previous generations survive and thrive.
Susan, Sarah, David, Micah and I join together in wishing you and healthy, happy and prosperous New Year.
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